Will You Marry Me?

Yesterday, while I was struggling through my day's worth of work, I received and email from an office friend. It started off with him bantering on and on about a guy which he thinks that I think is CUTE. (in actual fact, I clarified with him that the guy looks like JACK THE RIPPER and was NOT cute and that in turn HE was interest in JTR).

But that's not why he emailed me. This is what he said..and my response

HIM: I think he's (Jack the Ripper) hetero lah......Anyway, he ain't my Type ler......kah, kah, kah.....

ME: are u feeling bored or is it one of those days where u just have to bug me??? ;p

HIM :need a woman's advice about a woman.........
(Me thinking: "I shud've known!)

ME: haiyaaaa..you ALWAYS need advice!! But its ok..I am feeling swamped (as always) and I guess I HAVE TO help you..(need the x-tra pahala!). So ask away! What is it? Don't know who to choose? Sooo many to choose from? or what???
But, seriously, u can ask. and I promise I won't laugh! :)

HIM :Choice has been made....I've come to the point that I need to voice it out " Will you marry me?". No clue or perhaps guts to actually face that moment. rejection? oucchhhhhhhhh!!!!! there goes my ego...........

ME : You mean ME? Marry you??? How long have u felt this way for me??? What will N think?? What do YOU take me for???? NO WAY!
(By the way, my darling N just happens to be his BOSS!!)

HIM : You ARE joking right? Cos it is a bit late for all that don't u think???? Its xxx my girlfriend.

ME : Phew! heheheheheheheheheh! Just pulling yr leg lah!

So the conversation went on. Me, giving him womanly advise on the best way to ask THE QUESTION. Like I have received so many proposals LAH!

After all that, I got to thinking.. Actually, WHAT IS THE BEST WAY?? You read all these things in romance novels and you see so many ways of proposing in movies and they seem so bizarre that you think "YEAH RIGHT! Let's get real here ya know!" And I thought back of all the real proposals that my friends went through and maybe I'll share some.

Friend number 1:
Method: He took his girlfriend up Bukit Gasing, played a Boyzone Tune on his car radio and read her a poem that he wrote himself. And while reading he shed some tears and proposed. Of course his wife-to-be accepted. (hey?? How many men left in this world are that sensitive and so in touch with their feelings????)

My thoughts on this: CORNY. Works for some but wouldn't have if it were me. I need something more macho than that lah. But of course I sighed amd sighed when I heard their story. Sooo romantic, isn't it??

Friend number 2:
Won tickets from MixFM to a Kris Dayanti concert and went with his girlfriend. While at concert Kris invited him on stage to sing a number. After the whole stint with Kris, he took the mike and ON STAGE proposed to his girlfriend. That got the crowd going wild! And of course..she accepted:

My thoughts: That's more like MY kind of thing. But then again, how often does that sort of thing happen!?

Friend number 3 :
Met future wife in drunken state. Met her the next day sober. Day after next.. plopped the question straight in the face. WILL YOU MARRY ME? And.. she accepted. He did admit tho' that he had a bit to drink before asking the question.


So I guess, this whole issue of how to ask and blah..blah.. actually boils down to the individuals in the relationship. But in all honesty, once you've found the right person, shouldn't it feel like the most natural thing to do??

If I could "RE-direct" my own proposal from my husband (which of course right now is a bit too late!) It would be something simple, which goes something like this..

HIM (holding my hand and looking deep..deep into my eyes, in a low-low voice) : I want to ask you something.
ME : ok?
HIM: Will you marry me?
ME : .......YES! (and then die of happiness and go straight to heaven!)

But you know, a girl can only dream. My REAL-LIFE proposal came out in total opposite..NOTHING like what I've dreamt of all my girly days.

Setting : Mamak Shop (Having late breakfast with N and N's friend, MN) Sometime in 1999.

N : I need to go to the washroom for a while. (So, he disappears)
Silence (I was busy eating my roti canai)
MN : Ehem... D, Kalau N ajak you kahwin you nak tak? (If N asks you to marry him, would you want to)
ME : Hmmm.. I guess.. Yeah, why not?
MN : Seriously?
ME : Yeah.. why?

N comes out from toilet.

MN to N in loud voice: EH N! DIA CAKAP DIA NAK KAWIN DENGAN KAU LAH!!!! (EH, she says she wants to marry you)
(And all the mamaks in the shop smiled..)

N : He! He! OK! (And BIG SMILE appears on face)

N turns to me and says : OK ke?
ME : OK lah Kot. (I guess so?)

And that was MY proposal. Where was the romance? What a scam! And I kept thinking, "Man! This N has NO BALLS!! But in spite of whatever I am saying NOW, we were happily married four months later ANYWAY. And till today, I keep thinking, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??

But the past is past and I am happily married after all, due to that mamak-shop proposal.

Actually, we girls have it easy cos most of the times, its not US who have to pop the question. I can just imagine the "trauma" these guys go thru (of course N is an exception!) of having to compose a script and all, asking the woman of your life to marry you. Just what IF she says NO? Men can't take rejection, big blow to the mighty EGO, isn't it???

So, I suppose..there is no such thing as ONE perfect way of proposing and that there are a million and one ways of doing it.

To this dear guy friend of mine, I'd say :

1.Take a deep-deep breath
2.look at her straight into her eyes
3. say bismillah,
4. tell her you love her
AND
5. Politely ask her to spend the rest of her life with you.
6. Of course if u wanna add things like "you're the most beautiful woman in the world" or the all-famous "YOU COMPLETE ME" line OR read her a poem(and cry while at it) OR sing her a song etcc.. u can!

Insya-Allah..everything will be fine.

My last email to him said:

And Friend..

I am happy that you've gotten this far (I sorta lost hope in you! ha!ha!)AND I will be praying for you.

ps. BUT.. if u have NO BALLS like your BOSS, you can always ask ME to ask HER for you!! OK???! *wink*wink*