Thursday, December 25, 2008


Anedra has moved to

Monday, September 29, 2008

After a 6 year break from the whole the diaper-change, breastfeeding ordeal of baby-dom, I find myself panicking as I approach my due date. I have totally forgotten how to handle a baby, ie. ow much milk would the baby need? 4 ounces? 6? 8? or feed until it pukes? Diaper change as and when required? Or every 4 hours? (wait - every 4 hours is for changing sanitary pads, right?) . Only 2 days ago, as I watched bibik burp my niece after feeding, did I remember that - oh my God! yes! - Must burp baby after meals!! Geeez, was that a lightbulb moment or what? Panic, panic. I will have to get one of those baby handling, parenting books soon. Sigh, I can totally see myself being quite hopeless at this.
Other than that, it's been kinda exciting.. Buying baby clothes, milk bottles etc. The anticipation and the excitement of having a little tot at home. N seems quite excited too. For the first time, he actually has a name list prepared 2 months ahead of the date! For the past two, the name giving exercise almost seemed like an after thought; the poor boys!
It's about a month more to go. I can't wait. I feel so heavy and quite hate this phase where we actually "waddle" about rather than gracefully walk from point to point. It doesn't help either when baby thinks that the bladder is a squeeze toy! Can't laugh, can't sneeze, can't snort! At the same time, I dread the whole labour process. Of course, I am inclined to cheat ( as usual) with my normal dose of epidural etc. Oh, and let's not talk about the breastfeeding, and the fact that my boobies will grow so large that they'll gve Dolly Parton a run for her money!! Haha! Hopefully, with God's grace, everything will go fine.
In the meantime, I intend to think happy, happy thoughts, have a great Eid and wallop as much rendang and Eid sinfuls as my tummy will permit.
Eid Mubarak everyone - have a great one with your loved ones.

Monday, July 28, 2008

A Miss

The company I work with offers free umrah every year for employees who have served for more than 7 years. They'd normally go in Ramadhan for 2 weeks. I reached my 7 year mark a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, for management, there is a quota, and so, I have been on the wait list and still have not been selected to go.
Of course, this is a thing to look forward to and I have been waiting patiently, albeit tapping my nails on my desk thinking when? when? when?
Then finally, I get the phonecall today informing me that I have been shortlisted and that they just need my agreement so that all the processing can be done. And my answer was - NO, I can't! Dang! I am having a baby soon, remember? I'd be almost 8 months by the time they leave..there's no way I can go.
Sighhh...the one trip I've been waiting for. Can't describe the disappointment. But then again, I can't have everything can I? Insyaallah, God will call on me again to visit his Mecca some time soon.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Looking for Playmates

My happiness in finding a volunteer for Nasri's playroom timewas short-lived when she received her offer to go to college and is reporting this Thursday. Oh, yes, I am happy for her, very happy, actually but now I need to find a replacement to fill the gap!

Finding volunteers to work with a child like Nasri is not easy. When I was first told at the start-up course that I attended a year ago, that my programme would depend a lot on getting people to help me in the playroom, I was quite stumped. No lah, sceptical, more like it. I did not know of any one who would volunteer to come play at home with kids. Especially kids on the spectrum, like Nasri. It is very different from in the States where volunteering seems like a big thing! In fact, all my friends from the States seemed to have no qualms at all in finding people who would come to their homes, be part of their teams and work with their children! Wow, I would I ever do that in Malaysia?? They told me to ASK - if you ask, you may get. If you don't - you definitely won't get anything.

And so I asked - and I found that yes, there are very kind people around. I have now two people who come to our house to play with Nasri and run my programme with me and are doing a great-great job. God bless them both, I am supremely lucky to have them both!

Now two volunteers is nothing to brag about. My pals in the States have teams of 8 to 10 people!! And I have only two (if you include bibik and myself - we make four! yaay?) I have to say though, finding volunteers in Malaysia is not an easy thing. This may be an exaggeration, considering I haven't scouted the whole of Malaysia! I have asked our therapists if they know people, I have asked at centers where Nasri goes to, if anyone was willing, but the response seems dismal. Some appear sceptical... Like, "what?? Come to your house and spend time with a kid? That kid?" SO yes, although I have volunteers, many who have been asked aren't so accepting.
I don't blame them. Not many people know about the spectrum. The kids can be seen as highly weird, slightly retarded and just simply abnormal. That scares them. It requires some education - teaching people about the spectrum - and hey, we have a long way to go. And therefore, as much as I may whine, that is the reality of it. SO I keep telling myself that my role is to keep on educating whenever the chance arises.
Then again, there are people who would come and volunteer - BUT they may not be suitable for the job. The job takes patience and a lot of understanding. And in our programme it takes the 3Es : Energy, Enthusiasm and for the life of me, as I type I just can't recall the last E!! Yikes! So then comes the issue of selecting and monitoring your volunteers. How do you find good ones, how do you train them, how do you keep them motivated, how do you keep them on track? It's hard, and I ain't doing great in many areas with my volunteers in many aspects especially keeping them motivated. Some days are good, some days are bad. In the first place - how do I keep MYSELF motivated? So much for the 3Es huh?

Sigh. I'm beginning to wonder where this post is leading to. Anyways - volunteering is good. It's FUN- if you like kids,. and if you can tolerate a mommy like me, who can be such a pensyarah bebas when it comes to this. SO , since I am 6 hours short with my playroom time, I guess, I might as well ask...


ps. To Ena who is starting college this Thursday - all the best and enjoy!! I know that you'll be the best nurse in the whole wide world. And thanks for everything you've helped us with. We'll miss you!

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Bring it On

It’s Friday. Pressure day. Somehow my deadlines always fall on Fridays, but working under pressure is my forte, so, la-di-da.. Bring it on!

Am totally looking forward to the weekend. Simply because we have nothing planned. Nothing to do…just laze about and go with the flow. I have a lot of reading to catch up on, especially on the internet regarding issues on Nasri. It’s great that the center whose program I work on run live webinars every Wednesday, and have them published on the internet. Good stuff…but I’m lagging like 5 webinars late. Gotta catch up, but I also wanna catch up on Command and Conquer! How la? Priorities, priorities..

I managed to get another volunteer for Nasri’s program, which means adding another 6 hours to his playroom time. Whoooopeeee! It’s hard to find people who would want to come over and play with him, especially since dealing with special children is not easy and some people find it “scary” I guess, venturing into the “unknown”. But really, once you learn to love them for who they are – you do get hooked! (Anyone interested???)

Nasar has been doing great too. Despite entering his new school a year late, he came up as top scorer for his Arabic exams which really blew me off my seat. I’m glad he’s taking things well and more importantly loving going to school everyday. Kembang buns mak dia. Alhamdulillah.

And the mama? Mengembang dengan pesatnya! 4 months to go. I'll be equivalent to 3 cempedak ranum by then! Normally, I'd be really stressed about this, but in my true "gasak" attitude, I'll say "Bring it On!"

Sunday, June 22, 2008


The fact that it's a Monday morning and I'm all up to using the "blues" excuse as an attempt not to utilise any of my brain cells to do work that I am actually paid for, leaves me puzzled as to why I am here on blogger randomly keying in another useless update.
I couldn't sleep last night and I blame it on the book I was reading - oh, nothing heavy, something to do with chasing Harry Winston which was rather entertaining. Plus I suppose, I felt a wee bit bloated and couldn't position myself right to get into slumber. Needless to say, I am a sleepy grouch this morning. The fact that I will only work 2 days this week, makes it worse. SO much to do, so little time!! (seems like that's my current mantra.) Add that with the time needed to spend nursing the bitchy blues - that leaves me with practically no time. Groan, groan, stress, stress!
Panic. Yup, panic too. I have someone flying over from the UK to help Nasri and I with our work in the playroom. Play should be easy and fun - and I guess it is, once you learn to let your hair down and remove all inhibitions. We definitely have been having fun but for the mommy, play with objective and tracking sheets, and gathering feedback from volunteers is a whole different story altogether. Need I tell you that I suck at paperwork? So, yes, panic because, I decided to suddenly realise today that I although I have been playing a lot, I haven't structured myself well, which is a big No-No. And yes, I will be expecting a British earful from Paula when she gets here. Ayooo, time for self-assessment and kicking myself in the butt. All this on a Monday morning!
SO as shallow as this may sound - it is a Monday morning effort after all... I guess I could come up with a big-big list of excuses OR oooh, get someone to dangle me some carrots!! That always helps kan?
Hee haw.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Lame Ol Quickie

As lame as it sounds - So much to do, so little time! And thus, this very-the-very neglected blog Kasihan dia! Let's try a quickie and see whether this works.

With a negotiated three day working week - I thought I'd finally have time to breathe a little and plan life better. Never did I think that life would turn haywire and topsy turvy. It's almost a year now with this new working arrangement..and hey, I still am scrambling about trying to get things done. Juggling office work (three day working week actually means three day working week in the office, and the other two at home! boohoo) and juggling all the things I promised myself and my kenit-menit Nasri I'd achieve for him.

I don't want to complain much, because yes - we have managed a lot, Nasri and I. He is stringing 2 words now (when he is in a good mood!) and at most other times he says a lot of things, parts of words, word-sounding-words etc, etc. Believe it or not, he is also the best behaved boy in one of his classes. Hip, hip, hooray! Mommy shouldn't take all the credit - I have had lots of help from kind people who come to the house to play with Nasri (mental note: Must blog about them and the world of volunteers), I have kind bosses who graciously gave me this three day week without complaining so far and whom I know have tried VERY hard not to disrupt my working schedule although it doesn't work all the time - nothing is perfect, yes? A supportive household and family that tolerate my moodswings which actually means, the days when I don't say a word and shut myself up in my room to lose myself in the Travel Channel. I have blessings to count, that's for sure.

As a family, we're ok. Living life day by day the way we think best. N, according to people is keeping me company, prospering horizontally. Nasar is now our little family ustaz, after we enrolled him into a new Islamic school this year; which is actually great. We have him saying the azan at prayer time, and he tells us always - "the most important thing is to pray", great innit? Funnily enough though, whenever he says this it reminds me of MC HAmmer's "Pray" - Remember? "We got to pray just to make it today..!" Oh man, this mommy has got to get her act straight! Nasri - he's charming us with his antiques, but hey, he scares us too sometimes. Like most children on the autistic spectrum, the only thing that's predictable, is the unpredictability of how he can get. Patience is key. And love too. And energy. Thank God the surprises are more charming than scary these days. (mental note: more on that some other time)

I have lots on my plate and to add on to that, I have a little surprise swelling in my belly. Well, not really a surprise..considering Nasar has already named him/her : Ben, if it's a boy and Poppy, if it's a girl! So I guess I will be a water-retentioned, leaking-bladdered pengapit very, very soon after all!! I am too excited for my friend, that I'll worry about what to wear later - I'm sure they sell nice, cream coloured tents for pregnant old me somewhere!

I'll be back - well, at least, I'll try!