Panic

The fact that it's a Monday morning and I'm all up to using the "blues" excuse as an attempt not to utilise any of my brain cells to do work that I am actually paid for, leaves me puzzled as to why I am here on blogger randomly keying in another useless update.

I couldn't sleep last night and I blame it on the book I was reading - oh, nothing heavy, something to do with chasing Harry Winston which was rather entertaining. Plus I suppose, I felt a wee bit bloated and couldn't position myself right to get into slumber. Needless to say, I am a sleepy grouch this morning. The fact that I will only work 2 days this week, makes it worse. SO much to do, so little time!! (seems like that's my current mantra.) Add that with the time needed to spend nursing the bitchy blues - that leaves me with practically no time. Groan, groan, stress, stress!

Panic. Yup, panic too. I have someone flying over from the UK to help Nasri and I with our work in the playroom. Play should be easy and fun - and I guess it is, once you learn to let your hair down and remove all inhibitions. We definitely have been having fun but for the mommy, play with objective and tracking sheets, and gathering feedback from volunteers is a whole different story altogether. Need I tell you that I suck at paperwork? So, yes, panic because, I decided to suddenly realise today that I although I have been playing a lot, I haven't structured myself well, which is a big No-No. And yes, I will be expecting a British earful from Paula when she gets here. Ayooo, time for self-assessment and kicking myself in the butt. All this on a Monday morning!

SO as shallow as this may sound - it is a Monday morning effort after all... I guess I could come up with a big-big list of excuses OR oooh, get someone to dangle me some carrots!! That always helps kan?

Hee haw.

Lame Ol Quickie

As lame as it sounds - So much to do, so little time! And thus, this very-the-very neglected blog Kasihan dia! Let's try a quickie and see whether this works.

With a negotiated three day working week - I thought I'd finally have time to breathe a little and plan life better. Never did I think that life would turn haywire and topsy turvy. It's almost a year now with this new working arrangement..and hey, I still am scrambling about trying to get things done. Juggling office work (three day working week actually means three day working week in the office, and the other two at home! boohoo) and juggling all the things I promised myself and my kenit-menit Nasri I'd achieve for him.

I don't want to complain much, because yes - we have managed a lot, Nasri and I. He is stringing 2 words now (when he is in a good mood!) and at most other times he says a lot of things, parts of words, word-sounding-words etc, etc. Believe it or not, he is also the best behaved boy in one of his classes. Hip, hip, hooray! Mommy shouldn't take all the credit - I have had lots of help from kind people who come to the house to play with Nasri (mental note: Must blog about them and the world of volunteers), I have kind bosses who graciously gave me this three day week without complaining so far and whom I know have tried VERY hard not to disrupt my working schedule although it doesn't work all the time - nothing is perfect, yes? A supportive household and family that tolerate my moodswings which actually means, the days when I don't say a word and shut myself up in my room to lose myself in the Travel Channel. I have blessings to count, that's for sure.

As a family, we're ok. Living life day by day the way we think best. N, according to people is keeping me company, prospering horizontally. Nasar is now our little family ustaz, after we enrolled him into a new Islamic school this year; which is actually great. We have him saying the azan at prayer time, and he tells us always - "the most important thing is to pray", great innit? Funnily enough though, whenever he says this it reminds me of MC HAmmer's "Pray" - Remember? "We got to pray just to make it today..!" Oh man, this mommy has got to get her act straight! Nasri - he's charming us with his antiques, but hey, he scares us too sometimes. Like most children on the autistic spectrum, the only thing that's predictable, is the unpredictability of how he can get. Patience is key. And love too. And energy. Thank God the surprises are more charming than scary these days. (mental note: more on that some other time)

I have lots on my plate and to add on to that, I have a little surprise swelling in my belly. Well, not really a surprise..considering Nasar has already named him/her : Ben, if it's a boy and Poppy, if it's a girl! So I guess I will be a water-retentioned, leaking-bladdered pengapit very, very soon after all!! I am too excited for my friend, that I'll worry about what to wear later - I'm sure they sell nice, cream coloured tents for pregnant old me somewhere!

I'll be back - well, at least, I'll try!