Saturday Nite Out - Tun Fatimah Style

So, it looks like I will be attending the STF old gals fund raising dinner this Saturday night after all. The Clients whose tender I am working on has decided to give us some space to breathe by giving us a two-week extension and I finally found myself without a good excuse not to go. Plus, as I mentioned before, it’s time this Srikandi awake from her slumber and contribute to the school by gracing the event with her presence. Aye?

Actually, I am a bit nervous; you know meeting old friends or old seniors (who may just think they can still stick three fingers down my throat while getting me to sing DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DO). What if I don’t know what to say? You know how flat-toned and bored I can look without even intending to be so! It just gives people the wrong ideas! No, to those old-gals reading this, please know that I am interested in what you say..it’s just that I just look like this! My apologies in advance sweethearts! Plus, there are issues of what to wear and more importantly, what to wear to make me look slim plus how to put up my hair and what shoes will go with what etc..etc..And people, tell me, how do you lose like 10 kilos in 3 days???

I invited N, but he decided to not go with me. He didn’t want to deal with Old Gal crap I suppose. Which I totally understand. I mean, no man I know so far is willing to endure an all girl school reunion without falling asleep in between or on the other extreme being scared out of his skin with the shrieks and screams that we will be displaying in delight or at shock and/or horror at meeting old friends. Without a gun stuck at his head, of course! So, I am actually grateful that he actually understood that my invite to him was just a matter of formality, and that I didn’t really want him to attend cos if he did, I wouldn't be able to be the "Old Gal" me eh?? *naughty winks* Heh! Which is why when he said, “No.” I just smiled wide, and said a quick “OK!” No follow-up or persuasion of any form shall be pursued in any way.

I am glad though that I will be there with my best pals from the old dorm; Linda and Jaja. Just with them there; I am guaranteed an awesome time. And at least Jaja and Linda shall even out the flat-toned-ness aura around me. They’re such wonderfully high-pitched shrieky pals. I love them to tiny little bits! Nevermind the shock and horror of meeting whoever-whoever, if there are any I should be shocked with lah. I am almost certain that I shall be “pleasantly” shocked. The Srikandis never fail to delight me most of the time, anyway.

So, we will be at the Sunway Lagoon Resort Hotel this Saturday night, in full traditional galore. As nervous as I am, I’m actually quite quite excited over the prospect of this. I just know this will be fun. Well, it’d better be! In the meantime, there’s lots to do. I mean shrinking your legs, bums and tums has got to be a full time job eh? And in three days at that? Wish me luck!

A Guide for A Pontianak

For the past few weeks, as work has been on murderous overload mode, I have been sighted around the office looking more like Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam than a human; with hair out of place all the time. Rule: If it’s let loose and uncombed it’s considered an okay day, if it’s all scrunched up held by a clip and strands escaping everywhere, then you know it’s a bad day.

Make-up? Forget it. After the first application in the morning, and endless meetings thereafter which just ooze out the last drip of sanity you have left in your body; what’s the point of applying it again after lunch when all you want to do is pull your hair off your scalp and avoid looking at the mirror anywhere in fear of actually wanting to strangle the person staring back at you from the mirror to the heavens or hells above? Nope, forget the make-up. It’s just too much work and it goes with the mood I have been in all week. Nope I haven't been feeling pretty lately. No sirree!

And let’s not even go to what I wear to work. I might as well be in coveralls. I just wake up in the mornings, pull whatever that’s nearest, easiest and most convenient to wear and head off to work, not even checking whether I’m all colour coordinated, or not. Tough. It’s just one of those weeks you know. And you’re just waiting for the lightning to strike you, and for whatever may to come. Whatever. You know?

Yesterday, after spending an hour in a hot steamy shower, and thinking of how I have not felt like a woman off-late which was probably triggered by a comment I got from a boss along the lines of “Anedra; you ok? You look out of sorts”. He might as well have said, “You’ve been looking like a pontianak all week.” Heh.

Well anyways, after the shower and plonking myself in bed; I grabbed a book which has been on my night stand for months, waiting to be read. It tickled me tremendously.

This is what it said (in an extremely summarised version)

How to be Groomed:

1. Pedicure feet once a month (Anedra: err…like who even looks at mah feet?)

2. Must manicure. The book says “There is no point in angling for a diamond ring if you don’t have nice, groomed, kissable hands (Anedra says: No wonder he hasn’t bought me a diamond ring. So, must manicure. But does it work when you have to tumbuk sambal belacan everynight for dinner?)

3. If you use nail polish, there’s an entire definition of colours and stuff ie. Red=dangerous, vampiry, sexy siren, Nude/Cream=High maintenance, French Manicures=Control Freaks most the time Americans (Anedra: err, not French?) and glitters=ONLY if u’r fifteen (Anedra: shucks!)

4. Understand your sihouette. Concepts to remember “A body is like a cello. Your job is to work out how to play it” it goes further to quote Sophia Loren “A woman’s dress should be like a barbed wire fence; serving it’s purpose without obstructing it’s view” (Anedra: I gotta throw out them coveralls!) and most importantly, KNOW YOURSELF “Understand what you are left with when the lights go off” (Anedra: Eeeeks!)

5. White jeans, Horizontal stripes, flannel tracksuits, Blue Lipstick, Wellington Boots – BIG NO NO!

6. Brazilian wax, facials, lip hair removal twice a month if not monthly

7. Avoid getting your knickers in a twist (Anedra: Ladies, this is important! It ain’t beautiful to see ya know!)

And this one was written just for the Pontianak me

8. How to deal with bad hair days? GET A HAT!

I have finally found my guide that shall bring out the finer woman in me. For those of you who want to know more, go get “How to Walk in High Heels” by Camilla Morton at bookstores near you. It looks like this book will permanently be on my nightstand for days when I need a quick-fix and urgent guidance. Sir A.G thanks for so thoughtfully purchasing this for me. You knew, that more than anyone else you know, that this niece of yours would need it the most!

The book is fun. A long list of interesting (and to me tickling) do’s and don’ts ranging from "How to Choose High Heels" to "How to be Miss Green-Fingers Royale" or something like that, which for the life of me; 80% of which I’d never be able to do like “How to Make Curtains?” Errr..nope, don’t think I want to make any! But at least I know that I need some work done on me to make me feel like a woman to keep the Pontainak at bay; especially at times of dire stress like I have been through these past few weeks!

As for now, let me just go sort out this Pontianak thing first. I’m gonna go get me a HAT!

Birthday Angel

Always at night as I put you to sleep

And nestle my nose in your sweet soft hair

Watching your eyes slowly droop into a close

And your face a picture perfect sereneness

My heart swells with joy and

I thank God for sending me you

My little angel

And at night as you toss and turn

Arms reached out to hug me close

And once more my nose shall rest in your hair

Breathing in your heavenly scent

It envelopes me in a strange calm happiness

And I thank God for sending me you

My little angel

And the days when your sweet smile

Greets me as you flutter your sleepy eyes open

To welcome me in the morning

For yet another day together

You make me feel like a Queen

And I thank God for sending me you

My little Angel

And for the days we discover new things together

Cry over our little pains together

Laugh over little silly things we do together

Rejoice over the precious words that you utter

You make me feel like a million dollars

Yet again, I thank God for sending me you

My little angel

And for the nights when I hold you tight

Your cheeks moist with my silent tears

For I wish I could make life better

For you who makes my life so fulfilled

But I am just a mother with so many flaws

And I can only thank God for sending me you

My little precious Angel

Four years ago I couldn’t imagine life with you

Four years on, I can’t imagine life without you

Every inch of you in my eyes is perfect

I couldn’t dream of anything more

So everyday I whisper a little thank you

To God for sending me you

My sweet little precious Angel

Happy Birthday Nasri!

GAMARJOBAT

If you have time to spare and need a good laugh, go watch GAMARJOBAT a "shut-up comedy" (mime) duo Japanese act at the Actor's Studio Bangsar. Never thought mimes could be so hilariously entertaining. They will be there up to March 19th. Tickets from RM67 to RM92 with current offer on a "buy one free one" basis for now. Brilliant, spectacular performance. Kids will love it too, although some "parental guidance" would be required! You won't regret it. In fact, I'd go again!

I laughed so hard, I almost peed in my pants! :)

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