In Pursuit of a Soul-Mate

For some reason or another, the year end saw us as a family debating the issue of soul-mates. Is having one important? Should the person you marry be your soul-mate? Should not marrying your soul-mate compromise happiness?

My brother calls me a pragmatist, a realist, that I do not have a need for a soul-mate. That my life is driven by sheer objective and all this nonsensical, theatrical need for a soul-mate is something I could live without –as long as I achieve my objectives. Hmmm?

Bro, on the other hand, is an idealist, which tickles me. Where did he get that from? He’s the one who’d send us notes in the middle of the night telling us he loves us, he’s the one who longs for romance. He’s the one who’d ponder on the stillness of the night, and the messages that the lonely winds of the nights carry for him. He’s the one who questioned us on the need to search and marry our soul-mates.

That question stumped me for a while – because I had never looked at marriage that way. I never questioned myself whether N was my soul-mate before I decided to marry him. The idea of a soul-mate hadn’t even crossed my mind at that point in time. But, yes – having watched one too many Hollywood movies – sure, the notion of having someone who you could pour your heart and soul out to, having someone who reads you like a book, to have someone truly and deeply understand you, sometimes send some melancholic nudges to little corners in my heart. I am a woman afterall, aren’t all of us ladies in need of at least some of that? Am I missing out on something here?

The answer often comes back the same, I am happy with what I have and more than that – I am thankful for what N has given us, both tangible and intangible. Although I may miss out on some of the romance and the wholesome feeling that a soul-mate may bring, my heart is full with blessings and contentment. Who am I to complain? Driven by objective? Maybe. In need of a soul-mate? Like the ones in movies? Hmmm- definitely yes. When I’m feeling dramatic. Oh, and only if it comes in the form of Bruce Willis, or perhaps Will Smith. Haha.

But that’s just me. Who am I to decide what one should strive for? What satisfies me, may not satisfy someone else. What makes me happy, may not necessarily be someone else’s cup of earl grey tea. Such is life! And what a great big bore life would be if everyone were like me, right? Where would the drama and adventure go? Where would the stuff that makes the Hollywood movies, and err, Mills and Boons, that we love so much disappear to?

So, I suppose, the answer to this, is this – We are all different and as such, everything in relation to the heart is subjective. Therefore, happiness too is subjective and having a soul-mate for happiness is equally subjective. Coming from pragmatic me, I still believe we need to be objective and our numero uno objective should be happiness. However you think happiness should be and whatever shape and form it should come in, should not, be compromised. Ever. We only live once and we should live happy in that one life.

To dearest bro (and sister –if you’re on the look-out too), if a soul-mate is the answer to your happiness, then I say - plan for one, strive for one, FIGHT for one! I love you guys too much to convince you otherwise. Pragmatist or not, you can be sure that I’m with you all the way! Just spare me the drama. Please.


Ps. What I am actually also trying to say (to everyone else) is that, they are both (brother and sister) available. Any potential soul-mates out there??? Lelong! Lelong!