Thursday, February 23, 2006

Scaredy Cat

If there’s anything good about having a husband apart from having a companion and lifetime supply of ehemehems, it’s probably the sense of security having a man beside you gives. Well, for me, it's definitely that. I know I’m beginning to sound like a whimp of a damsel in distress or a really sayur of a woman who can’t live without her man beside her, but it’s true. Feeling safe is actually priceless. Not the emotional kind of security, but similar to the kind of security that security guards give you. You know, the feeling that no matter what evil attacks, you're in safe hands and that all you need to do is stand-back, relax and watch as he fights off all the bad guys? And that you can safely snooze off into a deep comfy slumber knowing that you're protected? You know what I mean.. Yes?

When N is away on his work trips, like he is tonight, I get overly insecure and the feeling is unbearably overwhelming. Suddenly, I feel this huge burden on my shoulders that the safety of the whole household rests on my shoulders. It's such a big job that it's scary and I’m telling you, it ain’t funny. I’ve got to make sure that everyone especially my boys and the property is safe..from the bad guys. It isn’t midnight yet, but I have already walked out to check whether the gate is closed TWICE. I have gone down the same number of times to check that each door and window has been shut and bolted tight. At nights like these, I lament, why oh why, did we decide to go all “American” and not have grills installed on our windows! Nevermind the alarm system wired around the whole house, tonight I wants grills installed please! And at nights like this I long for the comfort of having security guards like those at the apartment we used to live in. No worries about bad guys breaking in with parangs, machetes and what have you. Oh, and let’s not start on the orang minyak and gang, please!

Tonight, just like all other nights when N is away, the maids and the two boys ALL camp in the bedroom with me. Thank God, the boys think it’s fun (and so I don’t lose face as the scared lil mommy!)..something like a little pajama party with the bibiks. The handy old golfstick rests discreetly by my bedside ready for me to use in case of attacks. The house will look like it’s on Deepavalee mode, with all the lights on. Garden lights, fence lights, all the lights downstairs, all the lights upstairs and even the TVs too.; everything is switched on. Well, almost.

Funny, I never feel this way when he is here. It’s not like he sleeps with guns around his waist nor does he even remember that he even owns a golf stick. He doesn’t even practice martial art of any kind. Plus, he hardly does rounds around the house to check the doors and windows when he’s at home. I do it. But at least I only make one round if he is here not twice like I just did and normally do when he’s away. What makes this worse is that I won’t be getting any sleep tonight. With TV blasting away and all the lights on, how can I sleep? Give me my N and his snores any day, I won’t mind as long as I don’t have to be Head of Security of the house!
Wail! Wail! Wail!..5 more hours before 6 a.m when the bad guys go home and I can go off duty and get at most 1 hour of sleep before I head off to work. Looks like I’ll be completing all the crosswords on Women’s Weekly for the rest for the night. As for now, I gotta go check the doors and the windows AGAIN.

Goodnight y’all!


Blogger narfnarf said...

baca ayat kursi tiga kali sebelum tidoq. nyamuk pun takleh kacau. :o)

muacks muacks muacks.

*lap muka* amiiiiiiiiiiin.

11:26 AM  
Blogger mommy@lif said...

hihihi dena,
me the lemah semangat woman type. but if hubby wasn't around, we'll be @ IL's. so never really feel the burden on my shoulder. hehe aci takk?

5:05 PM  
Blogger Seri Langkat said...

i can totally relate to your stories Dena!

Whenever my hubby's away, i would be the only adult in the house and i'd worry about those things that u mentioned. Lights, tv and even stacking the kids toy boxes behind the kitchen and front doors!

i'd definitely loose sleep - the part i hated most!

Paranoid la kita nih... heheh

5:50 PM  
Blogger LifeBloom said...

My mum is exactly like you when my Dad had to go on trips away. She always said that orang lelaki ni memang "semangat" rumah.

There are no men in my household as I live with my sis - 2 S(Y*)F against the big bad guys. I have to be the semangat! It helps that we live facing the main street and have great neighbours who look out for each other.

* the jury is still out on this category...;-))

7:06 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

narfy honey: i know that it works on syaitan and hantus etc. which is why I'm not so afraid of those compared to the HUMAN baddies! But nyamuk pun boleh eh??

Muackss muackks muackks back! And big bear hugs too!

mama alif: I used to do that too. evrytime he went away, i'd pack and go back to my parents. But now that the boys are schooling, it's not so I need to grow up too eh?

serilangkat: Budak-budak STF ni penakut kot eh?? MAJU TF!!!!

lifebloom: Wah..u the berani one ya?? u wanna move in to my place?? I've got extra rooms? Free of charge too! Yes? No? ;p

7:18 PM  
Blogger LifeBloom said...

Anedra: Move in tu tak practical sgt maaaa...tell you what - I patrol your house twice nightly...Okay jugak tu kan??

7:57 PM  
Blogger Maya said...

D!!!!!! You shd have called and dropped by. I could have done very well with your company even tho I might have bored you to death.

In my house my hubby is head of security, and when he isnt around he remote controls with the maid. And if that fails he does with the Lord himself....I am inaccessible :)

I have been so busy my dear...and now I know. I was wondering how come D always knows when I make a new post.... you couldnt sleep and went bloghopping!

When are we going to meet? *SIGH*
Miss you!

9:07 PM  
Anonymous Hazel said...

I totally understand how u feel. Imagine I do what you did EVERYDAY because I'm a weekend wife. The 'penakut' kind of a person, I will do like u did, rumah mmg macam Divali nyer festival every night and as soon as the sun goes down, all my doors, windows and gate will be bolted tight. Haha!

Regular reader of your blog,

11:08 PM  
Anonymous ariel said...

hehehheh ..

its funny ..but its real kan.. i get like dat too.. and we are living in a sekangkang kera apt and not a house house like yours hahaha ...and yes.. the really funny thing is dat i was not like this before i got married to him..even when i was staying alone for the 2 months my sister went for hajj previously, the lights would be off.. and id be happily sleeping on the sofa in the living room.. nowadays.. ALL lights on, radio on.. door of the bedroom firmly locked.. you know the drill.. hahahah hubby likes to joke that i can only sleep when i kat bawah ketiak dia.. Gosh ,apa la nak jadik.. dah tua tua ni :-P

12:14 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

LIFEBLOOM: you're on sweetheart!! woooohoooo..I get security and singing! yes? yes?

Maya: Miss u too! Yes, the sisterhood must bond soon over lunch! Loved that poem..made me melt.

Hazel: Yay! Hi-5! I've got a sista!

Ariel: Memang sah bebudak STF ni penakut! hahah!

1:16 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

If it makes you happy and more secure, my house has nogrill and no alarm. My gate is closed but never locked. Yeas as Ayu said Ayat kursi + the 4 Qul help. The rest is tawakal. Good Luck!!!

2:08 AM  
Blogger dr in the house said...

Anedra- hehe...You're almost as bad as my hubby's aunt! After bolting all her doors at nite, she'll stand the cover of a big periok by the door. Thus, in case the door got to be opened by intruders, the lound clang will wake her!

I guess, having N around, his baldness and all, gives a strong sense of secure eh!

4:18 AM  
Blogger torts said...

Security in a husband is smtg wishful :) But credit goes to the guards at my place - they are doing wonders with non-emotional security.
Anyway - @ bismillah 7x, i still keep a dim light on, surat yasin handy under my pillow, and always try to limit my imagination and other senses from the like of hantu-kuali and sewaktu dengannya.

Aaa.. ada ka lagi orang minyak la ni?

7:17 AM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

I think its his snores that usually scare them away. be careful when u go and check the gates.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Mama Irma said...

Anedra, the bad guys do not go off duty at 6a.m.!! Once I saw 2 of them jumping from one gate to another at my neighbourhood collecting branded shoes from peoples' porches at 6.45a.m.!!..Apparently bila dah terang sikit lagi senang diorang nak pilih kasut!

5:48 PM  
Blogger Nazrah said...

gosh, i know what u mean about hearing the whoops and whirrs of the hoozbang's nasal cavity that casually lull u to sleep like some baroque music.

when the pakcik guard has to go away, the makcik chicken with small balls celebrates deepavali with all the tv in the house blaring and Yahoo Messenger for company.

5:45 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

auntyn: and u've been safe all the while? well! I'm moving there!

doc roza: i used to do that too, put stuff behind my bedroom door. That sort of wore off after I decided to have the whole house camp in my room!

kakteh: I think so too!! haha! Yup! I'll be careful alright? U think I shd bring the golfstick out when i go check?

mama irma: haiya!! u've just extended my duty hours! actually, u're right..they work at the oddest hours these days.

nazrah: kita gang lah! sometimes feel like I have no balls. scared like hell! thanks 4 keeping me company tho!! :)

2:27 AM  
Blogger swan said...

We're in the same boat! Sailing to paranoid land! I dont have a maid and my hubby sometimes away for 6 months...

I need to include another thing that 'JANGAN BUAT BILA HUBBY TAK ADA'...watching KOrean or Japanese horror films..
I did it once and I cried all night worrying someone is going to break in and something is going to grab my ankles from under the bed!...Takut gilerrrr

5:55 AM  
Blogger Ely said...

aiyooo gurl...sorry i came late, by now N should be home already eh?

dont worry lah, insyaAllah, God will protect ur home and family at all times.

u're just like me, if the husband goes to LA for 2 days, i would be the one to risau and look out the driveway making sure that the car is still there and noone lurking around.

but at least now my son is 13, somewhat makes me feel safer lah.

i like ur golf club weapon, jgn melatah terswing kat org sudah eh!

5:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

take care, soon the boys will be your super hero, to ganti N when he's not around.... RMS

10:27 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Stay safe, y'hear? I bet it's worse for your man to be thinking about you guys at home without him to protect.

Sometimes I feel like this country is held by the neck by criminals. We've got tontos following law enforcement officers, and we've got tipper trucks driven by F1 rejects and there's nothing the authorities can do about it. We've got our houses grilled like San Quentin. It's not good to stay in a country where you can't feel safe in your own house.

Stay safe all, y'hear?

11:15 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

swan: Oh yes!! Horror flicks in general should never be watched when alone!! what were u thinking of? I'd have peed in my pants already girl!

ely: sometimes I ask myself whether I'd have the nerve to even lift the golf stick and hit anyone with it you know. haha! macam terror je kan?

RMS: That's like another 10 odd years to come?

Bergen: Itulah, whenever he has to go, I'll always tell him that we'd cope fine without him. Only God knows how it feels to feel unprotected. But it's even more unsafe for him to go about work on barges and such worrying about us at home. Even small distractions can be hazardous. So better act tough in front of him, eh? Susah jadi bini ni! :)

11:30 PM  
Blogger marlinabaharom said...

is it that bad, fren??? never experience b4 and i hope i won't!

12:14 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

when i was single, i could even ronda the town at night alone, armed with only garfu in my pocket (dangerous weapon, garfu). Well, someone's gotta keep the city safe kan?

Now that i am married and learnt (well) how to be dependent on the hubby, and have kids depending on ME when he's away.. aiyoh, the city can take care of itself lah. I have my own little negara to look out for. i lock and zip the whole house and then worry that we wouldnt be able to escape in case of fire and will go unlock and unzip and worry again and the house will be litten up like lailatulqadar too and radio tv all on and i'll stay up with yahoo messenger as company.

So much for being a modern independent woman!

allo fren, hope he's home by now. U take care.

12:40 AM  
Blogger bergen said...

Your man is on derrick barge? He's not a diver, is he?

1:15 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

marlina: i hope u're braver than I am!

oody: too much "anakku sazali" lah ni walking with a fork in yr pockets! U think i shd keep some in my bedroom too? Just in case the golf stick fails?

bergen: Nope he ain't no diver sir. Yes, he is on derrick barges.

2:01 AM  
Blogger About Blogreader said...

Yes I know what you mean! I'm going through the same thing, right now. Except that I'm not scared of people breaking in, I'm scared of hantu!

2:09 PM  
Blogger Nazrah said...

i pon takut hantu...woooooooOOoooo..just like my mom.

sampai ke la nak pi toilet malam2 kena ada teman kat luar pintu

1:42 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

blogreader: haiya..NYC ghosts banyak ke?? Baca ayat kursi before u sleep..wash yr feer and keep a golf stick by yr bedside. maybe yr knitting needles will do the trick too..oh and some garlic by the bed as well!

nazrah: kalu pergi toilet nak kena teman..itu saja nak manja namanya tu!

6:11 PM  
Blogger Awang Goneng said...

Your hubby looks every bit the macho man that he is. He zapped in and out of exhibition rooms and things while we (your dada and I) were content with drinking cups of tea in the quiet side.

These past months I've had to work very late in an office, when other workers were already stirring their mugs of hot cocoa in the comfort of their homes. The first time, as I was ready to leave (close to midnight) I had to go to the main room where sat a smiling lady in a brown coat, typing and typing. I said hi and goodbye and left my work sheet. She looked at me and again, she smiled.

The second time I had to work late, as I was preparing to leave in the dead quiet of near midnight, she was there too in the main office, sitting and typing God knows what. I spoke to her briefly, the gist of which was that she didn't know anything about the office or my work. Her accent was slightly mid-Atlantic, and her smile, it was soothing in a way that's weird. I left my worksheet, and bade her farewell, and she looked at me again and smiled.

Walking home in the cold, it dawned on me, she was exactly as I saw her a month ago. No one's ever mentioned her, and I never saw her in the daytime at work. Who was she? Why was she working so late, when no one was about?

Next time I work late, please, can I borrow your macho mate?

4:18 AM  
Blogger anedra said...


9:26 PM  

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