Ada Apa Dengan Lelaki Botak?
When I introduced N to the family for the first time, I had no inkling that he would be the one, eventually. Of course, I had the hots for him, from the first time I laid eyes on him. But no, I could have never guessed that at the point I introduced him to mom and dad, that he’d be the one I’d choose to spend the rest of my life with. Mom knew though, as she told me around 3 years after I had married him, that she knew he’d be the one. Why? I asked. She said, “Because he is bald”
It’s true. Whether I was conscious about this fascination I have for bald men throughout, I’m not sure. But yes, I have always had this thing for bald men, which must have started when I turned 18 or so because before that I was definitely in love with Ralph Macchio, the Karate Kid and no-one else. Friends have called me weird, my family have probably been silently puzzled over it. It’s a mystery, perhaps. But then again, what is there not to like about bald men?
In the past few seasons of the World Cup, I fell in love with Fabian Barthez the goal keeper for France. Nevermind David Beckham, Zinedine Zidane, Emmanuel Petit, Michael Owen, the whole of the Italian team and other hunks alike, it was Fabian Barthez that I had my eyes set on, and thus my undying support for the French! So betcha last dollar that at the wee hours of 4am or so, I’d be up watching my man defend the French goal post and cheering for him just as though he could hear me from the sidelines.
Then there are the movie stars. Ben Kingsley in Ghandi? Don’t ask me why..but he got my adrenaline pumping. And that guy in the King and I, what’s his name? I had a crush on him too. Then after many other movies, I can’t recall them all, which featured equally eye-pleasing hairless heroes and even villains. Then came Armageddon with Bruce Willis sporting an almost clean shaven head (I believe he was already balding anyway at the time) which affirmed my infatuation with bald headed men. I must’ve watched that movie like, what? 10 times? Then the more recent XXX or The Fast and Furious, with sexy Vin Diesel, making a girl like me feeling all goosebumpy and excited so much so that the excitement could’ve blown the roof off!
Oh my list doesn’t stop there. I probably have bald politicians (Maya! Shhhhh!) somewhere in the list, college professors, and god knows what else.
People have asked me since, what is it exactly about bald men and me? I don’t know. Perhaps it’s the clean look. No blow away hair, no grease, no dandruff, they’re always neat and nice to look at. The absence of hair probably brings out the best of their features anyway. You could see all of their eyes without being distracted with “oh, he needs a haircut” or “ewww..check out the oil on his hair”; when they smile, it not only lights up their face, but if possible the whole head! You know what I mean? What also gets to me is how wise they tend to look, perhaps because of the wider display of foreheads unobstructed by hair, and then somehow, the charm this look of wisdom exudes. And have you noticed, that definite rogue-ish, broodish feel about them? A lethal cocktail of charm, wisdom and danger. What else would a girl want in a man eh? Isn't that something to die for?
God is Great for after strings of boyfriends (err..actually only 2. yawn..boring ol me!), all with lots and mops of hair; somewhere in His Grand Design he pushed N into my path, knowing that a bald man like him, I could definitely not resist. So there he was in the cafeteria, some fine day over 6 years back, a rogue-like tanned man with a nice bald head who took my breath away. How could I have not said yes when he popped the question finally? To have my own FabianBarthez-Bruce Willis-Vin Diesel to call my room-mate; house-mate; all for myself?
Maya, over a lengthy discussion on this mystery of me and bald men, sort of solved the issue. She said in her always so wise way, “Anedra, how else do we explain it. It’s all in the hormones.” I’ll just leave it at that. She’s always right anyway. And so when someone else asks me why, I’ll just echo Maya. “Hormones”. But really, look below, what's there not to like about em?