Whatever

The dentist could not give me a slot this week for the tooth extraction because the guy who’s supposed to look at the x-rays has not done so. As much as I hate things being delayed, this time, it’s a-ok, cos the tooth is not hurting any more and the whole surgery really isn’t something I’ve been looking forward to. I’ll wait for them to call. If it’s next year, even better!

Anyways, I was approached by a head hunter recently with an offer that was nice enough to make me consider leaving the company I am with right now. I’ve always thought that after eight years of working where I am today, it is about the right time to move before I become part of the building fixtures! But apart from my worry of becoming something of a museum display, I thought that, for a change, it would have been nice to move and work in downtown KL where I could take the LRT instead of drive to work, and be just across the street from where an anakikan works so I could harass her for lunch every other day.

BUT then again, I thought, perhaps not. For pure sentimental reasons. I have been here since I was just a trainee at 18 years old, they sent me abroad to study and have so kindly groomed me to be where I am today (not that its such a great position by the way, but alhamdulillah!). The timing for this offer was also not quite right, it came on the day I was given a wee lil promotion and so to even consider it felt so, so wrong! And there’s just so much pride taken in what has been achieved by the company so far. Then of course, there’s the fact that, I met the love of my life here. Which is really, perhaps, the reason why I don’t want to go.

N and I have worked in the same company, even before I met and laid my eyes on him for the first time and knew that he exists in this world. When we got married, it was like a company affair to the point that the wedding dinner became somewhat more like a company dinner than a wedding! It was a celebration of sorts for the company, as some “matchmaking” efforts had actually succeeded, or so they claim.

Having said that, we are hardly what you’d call an item. Our offices are on the same floor, less than a 3 minute walk away. We attend the same meetings, we go for the same functions. But, you’d never see us having breakfast together in the mornings, we almost never have lunch together unless it’s a lunch meeting and we even go to work in separate cars. It’s weird. Even, our colleagues have labeled us as weird and some have even gossiped that I am probably Wife Numero 2 which is why we come and go separately! Oh well, let them talk aye?

And really when I think of it, I can’t really touch-base on what exactly I like about having him in the same office with me. It’s probably the fact that I can go ask for lunch money when I didn’t bring enough. It’s probably the fact that I can always “tumpang” him home when I’m too lazy to drive. It’s probably the fact that I get so much thrill out of sneaking winks at him across meeting tables and watching him squirm with embarrassment. And hey, when else can a wife watch her husband be instructed around in the office by the bosses (cheap sadistic thrill isn’t it?) OR on the other hand watch how “macho”-like the husband can get when handling the day to day operations of the projects we’re working on (my hero! Sigh…)? Plus, it gives us a lot of common ground…we’re passionate about the same things, he understands the stress I have and leaves me alone to layan my feelings at the right times and vice versa.

It’s comfortable being here with him. A little comfort zone away from home. It’s almost perfect actually (if I were his boss, then it’d be PERRRRFECT! Haha!). And perhaps I am a closet-clinger but I am too "sexy" to admit that! haha!

Then again, the offer is good. And I could take the LRT, so no more traffic jams!! PLUS I could go window-shopping after work. Sigh! Sigh! Sigh! Tempations! Temptations!

I suppose, these are things that money can't buy and becoming an antique in this place can't be that bad. So, I won’t leave.

I won’t.

I won't, right?

I need a brain check.