Six Years!

Quite frankly, the day I said “yes” to N (or rather his friend who proposed on his behalf) in that mamak shop, I had no clue what I was headed for. I had only known him then for 6 months and there I was; all ready to be his wife. In fact, I didn’t even stop to think for one second for the answer. It just came, as though I always knew I would. The strangest thing about it was that, I had no doubts and I was not afraid. But then again, I was in love with him… But if you think about it, what is love anyway? What would a 24 year old like me then know about love? Is it an infatuation combined with lust and some strange wonderful feeling that makes your heart do leaps and somersaults and flitter flutter in a funny but yummy way? Is that it? And really, does just love keep a marriage going? Whatever it was, I too readily accepted his proposal and I was on my way to being his bride.

N asked me a few days after his proposal, why it was that I wanted to marry him. He isn’t into this “love” shebang. He is really quite boring in that sense. (hehe) He doesn’t buy the idea of love and believes that love alone would not keep us going. I suppose after growing up seeing failed marriages, he was not all that convinced. Of course, I, being Miss Idealistic and a romance freak at that time, was all set against him. He can’t surely be telling me that we’re not marrying for love! If we don’t marry because of love, then why bother at all! No! That’s not how it goes in the movies..and that’s not how it would go for me. No sirree!

N firmly said, that we should marry for the right reasons and went on with a long long ceramah on marriage in Islam etc..etc..and stressed that when we marry, it should be “kerana Allah” and that I should get my niat straight before we get into it all, or else, we should rethink this whole thing all together. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. But there was something in his look that said, I must not argue and moreover, that I should not worry. The more I learnt from him, the more assured I was. There was nothing to worry.

It shall be 6 years this Sunday from the time he shook Dad’s hands and the two half-deaf witnesses pronounced us as sah in marriage and I was officially handed over to N, for what the Mat Salleh’s would say “till death do us part”. Oh, I was such a happy bride that day and could not for the life of me fathom why mom was crying so. Mothers!

It has been a beautiful 6 years, but like any marriage with its share of ups and downs. There have been happy days and there have been crazy days. And after 6 years, I can’t claim myself to be an expert in marriage but all I can say is that it is really hard work and it ain’t no bed of roses! There are days when I wish I could just walk out of the house, fuming mad and wish I could leave him to suffer. Oh yes. There are days when I ask myself time and time again why I ever considered marrying him at all! Oh definitely yes. There are days when I feel like sending my plate flying across the kitchen table to him! (tapi sebenarnya tak berani!) But most days, I know God has been kind and that I am blessed. And I thank the Almighty for giving me such a patient, generous and bald husband for me to spend my days with and for me to share downright flat-toned conversations with; even though he’s not romantic, even though he's like a gangster at times, even though he’s more flat-toned than I am…and even though he farts like nothing else!

No, we’re nowhere near what you’d call a perfect match and there are so many things that we still need to work on. The only thing I know now is that patience, compromise, trust and perhaps some of that love-lust thing takes you a long way; and miraculously, the 6 years have pretty good. In fact they have been lovely and yes, we are happy.

I would like to believe in fairytale endings; but I’ve lived long enough to see that they don’t happen to everyone. I won’t stop praying though that ours will be a journey that will see us to the day we have MPV loads of grandchildren and are all wrinkled and have silver hair. The journey won’t always be smooth I’m sure but nevertheless, it will be something precious for N and I to share; especially now that we have two beautiful boys which have made life for us seem complete. But of course, as N told me 6 years ago, we’ll need a lot of help from the Big Guy up there; and we must always remember why we are here in the first place. His formula has worked so far. I guess, we’ll just continue to live by it!

Happy Anniversary to me and N! Six Years! Six Years! Six Years!!

ps. Happy Anniversary too, to Blabarella and her Mr Daddy. We should do a double celebration some time!