Friday, January 27, 2006

Six Years!

Quite frankly, the day I said “yes” to N (or rather his friend who proposed on his behalf) in that mamak shop, I had no clue what I was headed for. I had only known him then for 6 months and there I was; all ready to be his wife. In fact, I didn’t even stop to think for one second for the answer. It just came, as though I always knew I would. The strangest thing about it was that, I had no doubts and I was not afraid. But then again, I was in love with him… But if you think about it, what is love anyway? What would a 24 year old like me then know about love? Is it an infatuation combined with lust and some strange wonderful feeling that makes your heart do leaps and somersaults and flitter flutter in a funny but yummy way? Is that it? And really, does just love keep a marriage going? Whatever it was, I too readily accepted his proposal and I was on my way to being his bride.

N asked me a few days after his proposal, why it was that I wanted to marry him. He isn’t into this “love” shebang. He is really quite boring in that sense. (hehe) He doesn’t buy the idea of love and believes that love alone would not keep us going. I suppose after growing up seeing failed marriages, he was not all that convinced. Of course, I, being Miss Idealistic and a romance freak at that time, was all set against him. He can’t surely be telling me that we’re not marrying for love! If we don’t marry because of love, then why bother at all! No! That’s not how it goes in the movies..and that’s not how it would go for me. No sirree!

N firmly said, that we should marry for the right reasons and went on with a long long ceramah on marriage in Islam etc..etc..and stressed that when we marry, it should be “kerana Allah” and that I should get my niat straight before we get into it all, or else, we should rethink this whole thing all together. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. But there was something in his look that said, I must not argue and moreover, that I should not worry. The more I learnt from him, the more assured I was. There was nothing to worry.

It shall be 6 years this Sunday from the time he shook Dad’s hands and the two half-deaf witnesses pronounced us as sah in marriage and I was officially handed over to N, for what the Mat Salleh’s would say “till death do us part”. Oh, I was such a happy bride that day and could not for the life of me fathom why mom was crying so. Mothers!

It has been a beautiful 6 years, but like any marriage with its share of ups and downs. There have been happy days and there have been crazy days. And after 6 years, I can’t claim myself to be an expert in marriage but all I can say is that it is really hard work and it ain’t no bed of roses! There are days when I wish I could just walk out of the house, fuming mad and wish I could leave him to suffer. Oh yes. There are days when I ask myself time and time again why I ever considered marrying him at all! Oh definitely yes. There are days when I feel like sending my plate flying across the kitchen table to him! (tapi sebenarnya tak berani!) But most days, I know God has been kind and that I am blessed. And I thank the Almighty for giving me such a patient, generous and bald husband for me to spend my days with and for me to share downright flat-toned conversations with; even though he’s not romantic, even though he's like a gangster at times, even though he’s more flat-toned than I am…and even though he farts like nothing else!

No, we’re nowhere near what you’d call a perfect match and there are so many things that we still need to work on. The only thing I know now is that patience, compromise, trust and perhaps some of that love-lust thing takes you a long way; and miraculously, the 6 years have pretty good. In fact they have been lovely and yes, we are happy.

I would like to believe in fairytale endings; but I’ve lived long enough to see that they don’t happen to everyone. I won’t stop praying though that ours will be a journey that will see us to the day we have MPV loads of grandchildren and are all wrinkled and have silver hair. The journey won’t always be smooth I’m sure but nevertheless, it will be something precious for N and I to share; especially now that we have two beautiful boys which have made life for us seem complete. But of course, as N told me 6 years ago, we’ll need a lot of help from the Big Guy up there; and we must always remember why we are here in the first place. His formula has worked so far. I guess, we’ll just continue to live by it!
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Happy Anniversary to me and N! Six Years! Six Years! Six Years!!

ps. Happy Anniversary too, to Blabarella and her Mr Daddy. We should do a double celebration some time!

29 Comments:

Blogger dr in the house said...

With all the honesty and patience I sense from your writing, insyallah, I am sure, your marriage will last forever!

And that MPV full or kids with grey-haired couple you've described sounds so much like the present me :))

Btw, I love that wedding photo of yours. There's so much love between the two of you!

Happy 6th anniversary! (mine will be the 22nd on the 9.9.06)

11:43 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

Keep some space for Oteh in that MPV!!
Happy anniversary!

12:15 AM  
Anonymous atn said...

woooi cantiknya gambar

yr hair looks so glossy, er N's hair er er tak nampak lah

:)

12:31 AM  
Blogger ailin...in aalborg said...

hey, I thot N was much taller than you?

1:02 AM  
Blogger Uja said...

Dah nak time election nie, meh lemme wish you PAP style.

More Good Years!!

2:38 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

Doc: Hehehe..I'll have grey hair..he'll probably have no more hair left, looking at whatever little that's left on his head now! Insyallah Doc, we'll see this through. Kena banyak doa, kan?

KakTeh: You know we'll always have space for you. Someone has topangku all the cucu cicit kan?

Atn: Errr...on normal days, my hair ain't like that! Remember pontianak harum sundal malam? Yes..that's me! And as for N...what a TURN ON, eh?

ailin: He is a bit taller than me..and u must know, that I was wearing heels that day. Something I rarely wear on normal days!

Uja: Terima kasih yang!

3:19 AM  
Anonymous atiz said...

happy sixth anniversary..:)

9:19 AM  
Blogger Noni said...

Happy Anniversary Anedra.

9:36 AM  
Blogger narfnarf said...

lawanyer gambar. very nice. :o)

been around. lotsa work this quarter lah. and trying to socialise more too.

but...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

ps am craving those M&S chocs you pulun bawak balik. i've been googling online sites which mail them here to the US. so far no such luck. boo!

2:53 AM  
Blogger Nazrah said...

APA LAGI DENA???

Buka kilang roti cepat!

Many Happy Returns of the Day to you both!

10:44 PM  
Blogger Seri Langkat said...

Happy 6th anniversary Dena!

Wei.. stop talking bout losing some pounds coz u looked fine to me la!

7:20 AM  
Blogger Ely said...

awwwwwwww, thats so sweet. nice pic!

tell N that u love him for his botakness hehehe.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABES! more years of loving to come!

*ely and the husband will be 5 yrs this year!*

10:23 AM  
Blogger Ms.B said...

Happy Anniversary Anedra!! Here's to a lifetime of happiness for you and N.

Mine was low-key. We didn't do anything. But still, I was with the only one that mattered, and that was more than enough. :)

Love the pic. *smiles*

7:37 PM  
Blogger torts said...

Happy happy happy 6th anniversary. God bless you and N - happiness life long.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Jane Johan said...

Happy Anniversary Anedra! I love that photo!

Weii... baru dua anak tapi nak MPV full of grandchildren? Pegi process cepat! hehehehhhhh..... :)

10:34 PM  
Blogger Jiwa Rasa said...

Happy Anniversary,
May you be blessed with bounties and happiness

10:56 PM  
Blogger RedKebaya said...

Happy 6th Anniversary sweetie :) semoga u both get that MPV wish heheh.

12:11 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

Atiz & Noni: thanks!

narfy: Ayu! I have another 15 bars at home..marilah!! sedapkan??? oh, and M&S in KL pun dah jual..so senanglah nak dapat supply after this!


nazrah: eh....sabar! sabar!!Thanks anyways dahlink!

serilangkat: Hey there! Nice to bump into you that day. We were buying our stuff for N's bbq party that nite! It turned out fine. Hope your bbq was great too!

3:29 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

Ely: He SO knows that I love fhim for that..I remind him all the time! Thanks babe! Have a good time in FLorida!

Blabs: Ours was low key too. In fact , on the day itself, w were in Muar for a niece's engagement.. But it was nice! ^ years huh..really fast. dont you think?

Torts: Thanks!

Honeytar: Well, I figured, each of my sons can (WILL) give me 5 children each. SO 10 grandkids = 2 MPVS. I'm sorted, aye?? No neeed for me to do any of my own processing kan?? heheh! :)

Jiwarasa: Thanks!

Redkebaya: Thanks! I hope I get that MPV wish too!

3:44 AM  
Blogger I'm Not Female said...

visit

http://damansaraperdana.blogspot.com

- Monitoring Petaling Jaya's favorite modern township. Not affiliated with MK Land (obviously)

4:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anedra,

"He farts like nothing else," sounds just like my hubby. This may sound crazy, but we sometimes challenge each other....hehehhe

Anyway,

Happy Anniversary!!!

Aske'

6:02 PM  
Blogger A.Z. Haida said...

happy anniversary!
may your MPV and all-related wishes come true.
what N said is true - bila niat dah betul, insya Allah akan Allah mudahkan...

here's to more fufilling, happy years ahead!

7:00 PM  
Blogger bergen said...

Ye be good, ma'am. Happy anniversary.

8:38 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

Aske': Cute lah you two..but in a very gross way! hehehe!

AZ Haida: InsyaAllah..Thanks!

Bergen: Thank you sir!

7:12 PM  
Blogger LifeBloom said...

Anedra

A sweet homage to your 6 years of wedded bliss. You are grounded and realistic in your expectations of what marriage is - insyaAllah - akan berkekalan ke anak cucu...Happy Ulangtahun ke 6!!

7:01 PM  
Blogger Queen Of The House said...

Happy Anniversary and hope the years ahead will make your marriage all the more precious. 6 years, 2 kids ....... mana boleh macam ni! Get baking, quick!

12:08 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

lifebloom: thanks, but sometimes being so grounded and realistic can be quite boringkan. nak jugak sekali sekala jadi drama queen! haha!

queen: itu macam ka? ayooo..must wait for the moon and the sun to align correctly, wherever they shd be at to give me that girl I want! so far..asyik dok miss the dates je! lama lagi lah kot! haha!

2:07 AM  
Blogger MamiJarum said...

Might be too late to wish you but hope that your 6th years anniversary went really well. MJ berdoakan semoga berkekalan hingga ke syurga! :D

5:19 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

MJ: lama tak namak! thanks for the wellwishes! take care!

5:42 PM  

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