Friday, August 19, 2005

Goodbye Dede

I hate goodbyes. Saying goodbye is like letting go a piece of your heart, and that's always painful isn't it?
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Yesterday I said goodbye to Dede, a 20 year old who has been part of our household for two years. Dede arrived at our doorstep two years back as one of my "helpers" at home. She was a timid, quiet, serious and shy girl then. Throughout the years, she began to show her true colours, a warm, quiet, bright, determined and sisterly person. She warmed up to us, as we did to her. Most importantly, she became family.

The last two weeks before her departure were the hardest for her and for us. Dede was crying everyday. I chose not to think about it as there was just no point to do so. Returning home was not her choice. She was not given any. Family matters call her home, and who am I to stop her? So as hard as it was, we had to accept the fact that Dede would leave us and off she went yesterday.

The boys are missing their "kakak" already. Nasar is asking for her every now and then, (and tells everybody that she'll be back on Monday) and Nasri keeps going to her room to see if she is there and looks puzzled to not find her anywhere. It's only been a day. But somehow, now the house seems somewhat empty without her scurrying around doing her work, joking with the boys.

Oh well, such is life; it has to go on with or without the people we would like to be with us. I only hope and pray the best for our Dede. And as selfish as it sounds, I hope she returns to our family sometime... Anytime.


Blogger Kak Teh said...

anedra, u shd have told me she was leaving. I feel sad as well knowking how close she was to the children. Now am dreading the day Tin leaves Pak Ajie and family. Already Hilman is devastated and I cant imagine how Tok is taking it. We have indeed been blessed with so many wonderful people who also take us as family. Remember Olah who looked after u and yr brother? They were all family - a huge part of our lives. If anyone can put up with rearranging yr mum's closet and still stayed on for years - they shd be given a medal!

2:47 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

KakTeh: Our family has indeed been blessed. KakTin will be another one we have to let go next month. I can't imagine how chaotic things will be then, and how the kids will take it when she goes! As for us..Nasar cried to sleep just now, Nasri has been throwing tantrums which he does not normally do. I'm still hoping that she'll come back some day. Sedih sangat.

6:16 AM  
Blogger torts said...

kesiannya.. but sometimes we just need to let go and let god..

7:27 AM  
Blogger Uja said...

oh dear, i feel sorry for your boys. The same thing happened to my sister's girls - the youngest is especially close and she is only 3.

When the Bibik called from her hometown to tanya khabar, the first thing the youngest said to her on the phone was,'Bibik, adik nak susu'. So heartbreaking.

8:11 AM  
Blogger OOD said...

hey, i didnt know how close she was to the family. I am sorry i made jokes and all that when you told me about her leaving. I laughed at everything, dont i?

sorry, i should have 'listened' more.


8:39 AM  
Blogger Ely said...

aww dena, insyaAllah dede will come back. kalau tak i am sure u will find someone as good ad her!


10:09 AM  
Anonymous atn said...

with all the horror stories that we hear, kalau dah dapat yg baik tu syukur kan

10:56 AM  
Blogger faux diamante said...

i had this wonderful makcik rose who taught me almost everything i know about dapur and kerja rumah. she left when i was about 15 yrs old. all of us thought it was because something we did, it was especially traumatic for my 2nd youngest and youngest sister. she called 10 odd years later and told me it wasn't our fault she left, and that she has grown very old. i think about her everytime i do housework, her exact words when i malas ke dapur back then, "satu hari nanti, kau akan berterima kasih dgn aku". I am truly, truly grateful.
I can really understand your loss, Dena. Just remember her in your Du'a everyday,mana tau ada rezeki, ada umur, boleh berjumpa lagi.One lil suggestion, keep the memory of her kindness like you would any family member, and keep in touch with her. It pays to kenang jasa. InsyaAllah.

5:32 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

torts: yes. it's just a wee bit difficult in the beginning.

uja: we're writing letters already! Nasar asked in the letter "naik teksi pukul berapa hari isnin?" and is counting the days. He won't accept me telling him that she won't be back for a long time. Alahai..kesian.

oody: dahling worries. you made me laugh, so it made things better! anyway, u were right about "somebody" (N) being all stressed up about it..keeps asking when the new one is coming! hahah!!

ely: I hope so too. It's just that we became very close, she was like a little sister to me, and a big kakak for my boys. My previous maids were good too, but the bonding wasn't that strong lah. No emotions. Dede was different.

atn: betol tu. memang bersyukur. Her replacement ni tak tahu lah macamana..It's like a never know what u'll get, or whether u'll be lucky!

nazrah: it's kinda wonderfully strange how we take in strangers into our home and they become so close like family and sort of change your lives. Dede was like that. When we were small, we had a kakak whose name was Kak Olah. She left us a long long time ago but we're still in touch every other Raya. She even named her kids after me and my bro! So, now I kow who taughts you abouts mops and stuff..Makcik Rose le ni!

7:58 PM  
Blogger shidah said...

i'll hope your boys will get another good kakak soon, amin

2:55 AM  
Blogger De'Kapai said...

Waaaaaarrrrhhhhh.... I have to deal with the same thing next month and indeed it will be more difficult especially bila Tin dah jadi our family for more than 7 years... for Tok and Iman, Hilman and sofea... Waaaarrrrrrghhhhhh!!!!
Imigresen lagi...
Duit lagiii....
Pening lagi....

10:03 PM  
Blogger atiza said...

lucky for you to have a good helper..some of us don't..hopefully, you'll find a good one as her replacement

10:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kak.... when i read this i cried.. i miss dede so much.. the morning before she left.. when i was still in melaka.. she called me.. asking how i was.. would she get to see me before leave... i just don't know what to say.. didn't wanna cry on the phone.. but i did after hanging up because she said bye and 'i love you' to me.. imagine that kak... she sounded like she cried too.. any news from her? update me k.. i promised her that i would post all of our pictures... arrrgghhh she once told me that she had never loved a family like ours.. she loved you the most.. lets go indonesia and visit? heheheh

12:49 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

shidah: I certainly hope so

dekapai: I'm feeling the pain already! How would we ever live without KakTin. She's another sister to me!

atiza: I have been lucky so far. they have all been such good people.

adik: A trip to Indonesia sounds tempting, but a no-go at this point in time. Let's start by writing her a nice colourful letter from us so that she knows we miss her and love her too ok?

1:40 AM  
Blogger narfnarf said...

i've never had a maid before so i can only imagine what it's like for you. but i feel so sad for your boys kak anedra...*hug hug hug hug hug hug* (two for you and each of your boys)

9:58 AM  
Blogger ninuk said...

wow - very few people appreciate their Indonesian Pembantu Rumah Tangga (PRT). I am the same group with you, the supposedly rare employers who are blessed w/ good PRT. Bi Tutik has her own flaws but who is perfect at the first place. She has been working w/ me for 3.5 yrs bef she started to "buat hal" then we sent her back. We took another maid, but the arrangement doesn't work well. Then somehow Bi Tuti was back in touch with us and I offered her another chance with many many many more rules. She agreed and came back to work w/ us. So she came and now in her 5th yr w/ us.
Happy Employer -Happy Employee - Alhamdullilah

3:06 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

narfy: hugs back!

ninuk: I have always believed that if you treat them like your own, they'll do the same. So far that has worked, but I suppose we have to be careful too. Dede was a keeper, I still hope that she'll come back! :)

10:28 AM  

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