The One About the Haze and the Bosses

Like everyone else, I’m cursing the haze and the government for not declaring darurat already. I suppose we’re waiting for someone to pengsan and die on the streets of KL due to inhaling over polluted air..and then, declare darurat. By then, we’d have miles of people queuing up at clinics and hospitals suffering from jerebu-itis. And that is in addition to those, who are injured from road accidents and such. Pak Lah, (I know you read my blog) – declare darurat already pleaselah!!

Before long, at the rate this is going, those walking on the streets of KL, will be knocking each other head on and finding their noses hitting the ground like skittles as we won’t be able to see face to face due to this haze, as we are already creeping into the API of 500. Well, that’s what a wise friend of mine says, and she, is always right.

Talking about people who are always right, I was told 8 years ago when I joined the workforce, that the Boss, is always right. Always. Regardless of how wrong he or she is. No matter what. The Boss is always right. Which is, ladies and gentlemen, if you do not already know, is rule numero uno at work.

I’ve always been rather skeptical of this though. The person who created the rule that “The Boss is Always Right” must’ve either not gone to school or was working for himself, by himself, because it only applies, if that is the situation. So, perhaps because I was always a "non-believer" of the rule, that explains why I am where I am now. A successful coolie-kang.

But I suppose I have to change. A paradigm shift is called for. After 8 years of being in the workforce, I am now forced to revise my view on this issue, if that is, I want to get anywhere with my career. When the Boss says, “Jump”, you say “How high?” and then jump..even if you can’t and even if it means jumping off a cliff. When the Boss says, “Just Do It”, do not open mouth and say “But…..”, you, just do it. Why? Because it is so, and because Boss is always right. When Boss asks “ Do you have good news for me?”, always say “yes” even though you don’t have any good news. If you have a great smile and some acting skills, saying this should be no problemo. Trust me.

At work, I am one who has a string of bosses. I have my immediate boss, and two other not so immediate bosses and also report to Big Boss. Since, as mentioned, I do not plan to be a coolie-kang forever, I have decided to observe my bosses and peers around me and see what it takes to be a boss and be at the top. Apparently, “The Boss is Right” principle, is a major factor followed by “The Art of Fanning” which orang Melayu call “Kipas” and the art of “Kissing *ss” are useful and proven successful, which shall be elaborated on at a later date if deemed fit.

So when Big Boss says, “We have to achieve whatever-whatever”, my bosses do not say “But this-that” even if it’s not achievable, but instead say “Ok, we shall look into it” and turn to me and say “Do it..” to which I am supposed to smile very nicely, and say “Your wish is my command”, because, “Boss is Always Right”. Eh?

I have also learnt that when Bosses throw tantrums and start throwing things all over the place and/or at you, you must "maintain" and look as though nothing happened AND say thank you. Like what happened two days ago. A meeting of ours did not go as planned. Objectives were not achieved, everybody was stressed and so was Boss. So Boss decided to prove a point and started throwing pens, contracts across the table, one object missing my face by a mere few inches (which I skillfully avoided, thank you. It was not aimed at me by the way.). I would’ve joined in the throwing match, but apparently only Bosses are allowed to do that and so I just sat and watched. After which, we were asked to leave; the meeting I mean, not the organization..(phew!).

Up to that day, I always believed that, if you have not done anything wrong, there is no need to apologise..and I always believed that if someone starts throwing things all over the place and/or at you, you don’t thank them. Apparently not.. In such situations, madams et monsieurs, you lift your sorry bum off the chair, apologise to Boss anyway (for being alive, I guess) and thank him..for his five star throwing-stuff-act, before you exit. You see, it is only right…and that’s exactly what some of the rest did! Mindblowing!

Granted, not all Bosses are like this, and my Bosses (god bless them) are normally intelligent, sane, kind and gentle men. Unfortunately, these are difficult times and maybe under extreme stress, the brain shuts down and “yes boss” is the easy way out. As for throwing things, it is therapeutical, no? I for one, think it’ll be a long long time before I acquire this skill and to truly believe in the “Boss is Always Right” concept. I have learnt to smile and say “yes sir!” though, occasionally and when it’s really bad, I just smile and say nothing. But I’m not ready to go jumping off cliffs, nor am I ready to do a Nike and “Just Do It”. As for the art of “Fanning” and “Kissing *ss”, let’s not even go there. I'm not cut out for it, not even with my award winning actress skills!

I’ll just settle for my coolie-kang role instead. For now.



ps. by the time I finished writing, re-writing and editing this post, news came out that the government had already declared darurat / a state of emergency for Port Kelang, Kuala Selangor dan kawasan-kawasan yang se-haze dengannya. Thank you Pak Lah. Finally.

*Now go kick some *ss and clean up our air please? pronto! pronto!*