Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?

I remember once upon a time when dating my boyfriendssss..haha..there were only two before N (macamlah ramai sangat eh?); we were all lovey dovey and rather expressive with our feelings. Saying “I love you” at the end of every phone call, or even out of the blue for no reason at all was a norm. It felt very natural in fact. And it felt really good.

When N came along, we almost never said this. We probably said it to each other once or twice; but nevertheless we knew the feeling was there. I’d like to think that it was written all over our faces that we didn’t have to say it. I’d like to think there were invisible neon signs on our heads blinking the words I LOVE YOU and that we could see it all the time. Well, looking back, there was no need for those neon lights blinking out the words..love was all around us and so that was cool. At the time.

My N is THE lelaki melayu terakhir; or so I believe. While most my exes were my age, N, is much my senior which probably explains his difficulty in being expressive although I have seen older men who do it like it’s only natural to do so! And being the Melayu Terakhir that he is, I can sense that verbal intimacy is alien to him and uncomfortable. With N, if I were to say something mushy to his face you could see him squirm in his seat trying to find something appropriate to reply. Most of the time, correction; ALL the time, he’d reply with a joke; which is anti-climax to the max. Oh, and let's not even talk about public displays of affection, no can do. Control macho, this N of mine. Hang Tuah never did it, so neither will he.

As for me, all these years of getting jokes in return have made me stop telling him that I love him and ladida without me even realizing it. Today, when at lunch someone asked me, what was the most romantic thing I’ve said to N lately, I didn’t have an answer. In fact, I couldn’t even remember when I said anything extra nice to him in fact or told him that i love him; and I can’t even remember when was the last time he said anything lovey-dovey to me. It feels like centuries! Have we really only been married for 6 years?

So, the hopeless romantic in me has decided that this is absolutely unacceptable and I will remind myself to tell him I love him today. Nevermind the stupid jokes I get as replies..and nevermind the red face and squirms he will have in his seat. Come to think of it, I love seeing him squirm in his seat!

But; I also need to think of ways to get him to say something in return . Jokes, do not count! It can get rather boring and dry when you don’t get the right replies don’t you think? What will it take to get a Lelaki Melayu Terakhir to say something nice to his wife? Does anyone know?? A friend told me that G-Strings would do the trick.

In fact, she says, G-strings always do the trick!

Alamak. Ya ke?

ps. Happy Mommies day to all the mothers out there. And to my mommy Puan Zaiton Othman, I LOVE YOU. You're the best sambal udang maker in the whole wide world! What more could a girl ask for??