Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?

I remember once upon a time when dating my boyfriendssss..haha..there were only two before N (macamlah ramai sangat eh?); we were all lovey dovey and rather expressive with our feelings. Saying “I love you” at the end of every phone call, or even out of the blue for no reason at all was a norm. It felt very natural in fact. And it felt really good.

When N came along, we almost never said this. We probably said it to each other once or twice; but nevertheless we knew the feeling was there. I’d like to think that it was written all over our faces that we didn’t have to say it. I’d like to think there were invisible neon signs on our heads blinking the words I LOVE YOU and that we could see it all the time. Well, looking back, there was no need for those neon lights blinking out the was all around us and so that was cool. At the time.

My N is THE lelaki melayu terakhir; or so I believe. While most my exes were my age, N, is much my senior which probably explains his difficulty in being expressive although I have seen older men who do it like it’s only natural to do so! And being the Melayu Terakhir that he is, I can sense that verbal intimacy is alien to him and uncomfortable. With N, if I were to say something mushy to his face you could see him squirm in his seat trying to find something appropriate to reply. Most of the time, correction; ALL the time, he’d reply with a joke; which is anti-climax to the max. Oh, and let's not even talk about public displays of affection, no can do. Control macho, this N of mine. Hang Tuah never did it, so neither will he.

As for me, all these years of getting jokes in return have made me stop telling him that I love him and ladida without me even realizing it. Today, when at lunch someone asked me, what was the most romantic thing I’ve said to N lately, I didn’t have an answer. In fact, I couldn’t even remember when I said anything extra nice to him in fact or told him that i love him; and I can’t even remember when was the last time he said anything lovey-dovey to me. It feels like centuries! Have we really only been married for 6 years?

So, the hopeless romantic in me has decided that this is absolutely unacceptable and I will remind myself to tell him I love him today. Nevermind the stupid jokes I get as replies..and nevermind the red face and squirms he will have in his seat. Come to think of it, I love seeing him squirm in his seat!

But; I also need to think of ways to get him to say something in return . Jokes, do not count! It can get rather boring and dry when you don’t get the right replies don’t you think? What will it take to get a Lelaki Melayu Terakhir to say something nice to his wife? Does anyone know?? A friend told me that G-Strings would do the trick.
In fact, she says, G-strings always do the trick!

Alamak. Ya ke?
ps. Happy Mommies day to all the mothers out there. And to my mommy Puan Zaiton Othman, I LOVE YOU. You're the best sambal udang maker in the whole wide world! What more could a girl ask for??


Blogger Ms.B said...

Ahh, so glad I checked here!!

G-strings ah? Aiyo, they're SO uncomfortable lah, cannot cannot. Every couple is different, I guess. I think MrD is more lovey-dovey than me. He doesn't send me flowers of stuff like that, but our I-love-yous are profuse and constant. Lemme put it this way, orang kalau tak tau kitorang will meluat gila2 listening and watching the two of us. Sometimes I check myself and ter-malu oso!!

Howabout being direct about it? Sorry, I can only relate from my point of view. When I want something and don't get it from him, I tell him so, and then pull a long face until he at least tries. ;)

Or maybe you could get him to try to make it like, a routine at some point of the day. Before the both of you go to sleep, or right after you wake up in the morning, or before either of you leaves for work? Everything needs practice before it can work, right?

5:05 AM  
Blogger narfnarf said...

heh. too cute. :o) six more weeks to go!!! rah rah rah!

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

G-Strings? Butt-Floss?? It's sooo yesterday lah...
try wearing his working shirt (preferably white)..buttons underwear inside..and make him squirm in his seat seeing you like that..
don't forget the sultry look!!



4:33 PM  
Blogger Ely said...

oooooooooooooh yesssssssss i wear g-strings!!!! they're so confortable beyond believe. some think that its like an all day wedgy but halo...dont stick the string UP to ur butt!!! let it sit naturally between ur cheeks hehehe. not just r they compact to wear, they're compact to pack too!

maybe u could end ur phone call by saying 'i love u', hang up and see what he says. hehehe...he would be pleasantly surprised. and i am sure he might reciprocate by saying the same thing too.

well, as for me, pls dont menyampah ok. we say 'i love you' almost 10 times a day...end of every call, before he goes to work, when i see him from work, when we watch tv, and when we go to sleep (more if there's interlude hahaaha). same goes with the kids too. i just take it like at least when i die a sudden death, i had the chance to say 'i love you' to my beloved ones!


6:45 PM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Dena : Buat derk je and say "I Love U' I will do that to hubby. His reply is always "I love you too" Nak tunggu dia cakap dulu ? Memang penatlah tunggu tu. Usually kalau tak de reply tu, my next question would be " Ai, you don't love me anymore ka? " or "tak respond pun" If you keep on saying to him, you'll be surprise one day that he will respond.
My hubby is also not the type yg nak tunjuk sayang2 depan orang ni.

7:56 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

blabs: yeah..practise makes perfect. He squirms really REALLY well ya know! btw, you and MrD are so cute lah..tak meluat pun!

narfnarf: 6 more weeks?? yayyy!!!

nef: oh that is more shirts and all!!

ely: 10 times a day?? Mak aii..if N said that to me once a year I dah syukur alhamdulillah! hehe!! and I love you too!!

AuntyN: Itulah..kalau cakap banyak kali takde response, macam cakap dengan tembok. His response when i say I love you is normally "apasal? baru hari ni ke? or "apasal? semalam tak sayang?" anti climax. hehe!

10:04 PM  
Blogger Mama Rock said...

hahaha, your N sound like my hubby. teh reply always end up with yo or yo lah ha!

11:08 PM  
Blogger Queen Of The House said...

Alamak Anedra, I sense something similar here! But my KOTH started off as the most MOST romantic man on earth. You could just puke at the number of times and intensity we gazed into each other's eyes and say "I love you" and "No, I love you more". And the phone lines we probably burned with our long-distance love affair!

But we have become less mushy. Just short "I wuv you" over the phone IF we have been away from each other too long. And all the pegang-pegang .... what pegang-pegang and snuggle snuggle? My KOTH has also turned into another lelaki melayu terakhir ke?

Nak buat macamana? G-string is out of the question for me ... it'll make me feel like an "unconscious old lady" (perempuan tua tak sedar diri).

8:01 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

send him flowers! And heart-shaped candies. And pink baloons. And put colourful stick-on notes all over his emmm... we can start with the computer maybe? and send him song dedications thru his fav. radio channel (be a sahabat dapat first ok?). And silly teddy bears too!

Uh, for all that, contact me. I uh emm just ventured into Gifts & Flowers thingy, hehehe...


Ood Rosenbaum

2:54 AM  
Blogger Idham said...

this is a man talking ....
say it in sms, say it at end of phone call, say it on post-it stuck to the bath room mirror, say it in his pack-lunches....say it all the time in everyway! Man can't get enough of it...even the macho type heheehehe...and G string works! kalau ada bath-tub kat rumah, simpan air suam2 ...masokkan spa salt and lavender bubble bath, taburkan kelopak bunga ...ajak dia berendam sama2..hehehe...pas tu give him a back rub...

but, u sounds to me like a romantic lady already lah!

best wishes...

5:54 AM  
Blogger Nong said...

My hubby is romantic, his sms will always ends with 'i sayang u yang. Kiss, kiss' my reply will end with 'i sayang u too'.

You should try this.

10:15 AM  
Blogger trueblue said...

Your entries never fail to amuse me :). Never left a comment before but thought that I should today.

Anyway, about being lovey-dovey, it depends on the guy la. Some guys just dont know how to be one. Have you read the book: The Five Love Languages? People express and receive love in different ways. Interesting book. You should check it out

11:44 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

mama rock: kita serupa!! hi-five!!!

QOTH: Hello there! So, what do we do here??? HEEELLLPPP!!

Oody: Flowers?? i dont know.I sent him a cactus once, and he kept it until it dried up. Chocs,...I buy for him all the time. SO it's kind of a norm now. BUT, perhaps, we can change the presentation of chocs aye?? instead on in a box or on a plate..maybe err...on me?? *notti-notti winks*


Blowaway Idham: finally a man speaks. Men like you, I think, are a rare species. Dont find many of you in my circle! Words don't do much for him. I guess I'll just have to wine and dine and woo him somehow tho kan? *But that sounds a bit terbalik. SHouldn't he be wining and dining and wooing MOI??*

Thanks for the tips tho!

Nong: Honey, been there, done that. His sms replies to mine are always "K" as in shortform for OK. Anti-climax or not?

TrueBlue: HEYYYYYYY!!! Thanks for coming! Thanks for the info. Will be in Kinokuniya soon!!

7:24 PM  

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