Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The ABC's of Baking Female Brownies. An Idiot's Guide

As some of you know, I am on the quest of digging info in ensuring that the next batch of "brownies" I bake will turn out GIRLS. So, in this quest, I have turned to some experienced, and successful friends, and I have also received help from other non-experienced ones ie. Hartini in form of charts etc. (thank you, dear)
Well, this is one that I received from a dear, dear old friend of mine recently. He himself has succeeded in producing 1 male and 2 female brownies. So I thought, he'd be a good source of reference.
*Some terminology has been changed to maintain this blog as a non 18SX site. Please figure for yourself what "flower", "bees" and "jengjeng" stand for. If you can't figure it out, you are either:
1. Underaged (if yes, please go surf another site)
2. Blur (or an idiot, and so I can't help you)*
************************************************************
This is a step by step process. If you skip a process, it WILL NOT WORK!

Step 1 . Require one man - ready, alert and functional
Step 2 . Require one woman - just a live one will do
Step 3 . Require one suitable environment - a dimly lit room, locked and out of reach of
children will suffice.

Step 4 . You know what comes next. NO! Not THAT. You see, you're always jumping the gun
That's why la so hard to get one..... The next step is to look at the calendar!

YES! The calendar.
The "flower" blooms on the 14th day, calculated from the first "Red Flag" day. Conception happens only after the "flower" blooms.(I'm pretty sure you know that bit). What you might not know is that the "flower" has about 4 days tops to be 'stung' by the right "bee". And that the boy "bees" are the stronger swimmer (err flyers?) but the girl "bees" have a longer life.
So here's the trick...

If both boy "bees" and girl "bees" are present when the flower is ready, chances are, the boy bees are gonna be victorious. But if you eliminate the threats from the boy "bees", then, there's a pretty strong chance that if a "bee" manages to go thru, it's a girl "bee"!!!

So...how do you do that? The boy "bees" last just 24hrs but the girl "bees" last up to 48 hrs. So to make sure that it's gonna be a girl, make sure that you behave and do not "jeng jeng" from the 13th to the 17th day. "Jengjeng" at full throttle on the 12th day though. *which means jengjeng a lot, ok* We don't want to be unsuccessful on account of insufficient troops, do we? B'coz when the "flower" blooms and the "bees" are almost at the end of their life, they might not be strong enuff to "sting" the "flower". So, the more "bees", the merrier!

So there you have it. Apa lagi, start counting! And, ehem...have fun!
***********************************************************
So, to those who wanna try this, go ahead, and tell me if it works (by the way, this one, no money-back guarantee!).
To the rest, any other proven successful method?

46 Comments:

Anonymous hartini said...

heheheheeee that is one funny post!! :D

If jengjeng is what I think it is, then what is jeng jeng jeng?? :D

You're welcome (for the chart) ;)

5:13 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

hartini: jengjengjeng = a really awesome jengjeng?

5:37 AM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

ish, apa yang complicated sangat ni? Imagine, having to jeng, jeng...then jeng. jeng...
what happens if boy bees (yang terlalu actve tu) caught up with girl bees yang slow mo..and got to the finishing line together-gether?

6:38 AM  
Blogger narfnarf said...

apa niiiii, kak anedra????? :(

8:11 AM  
Blogger Uja said...

wooaahhh...jengjeng...LIVE JAM!!

Ok, siapa tadi yang angkat tangan nak main gendang? :)

8:29 AM  
Blogger torts said...

jengjeng! bees bees! jengjeng! bees bees bees! jeng jeng jeng jeng. Has this got anything to do with the bidding u'r working on?

And why 'brownies' - not takua (tahu related to tofu, kut) or something else? hehehe!

8:31 AM  
Blogger atenah said...

KAk Teh should know abt this after all she has 2 pairs, pandai sangat ikut chart tu :)

a good petua is to steal a senduk from the kitchen of someone who has nothing but girls, really. and u mesti curi not ask permission. (somebody i *knew* succeeded with this lah)

9:23 AM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

One puzzling question atenah. Once you curi the senduk, what do you do with it? Is it supposed to be functional?

11:09 AM  
Blogger Ely said...

this is too cute! i already have one boy and a girl. if i jeng jeng i dont care lah if its gonna be a boy and girl hehehe.

4:45 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

kakteh: that just means that you did NOT follow the instructions, and did not keep yr pants on from the 13th to the 17th *simply jengjeng only* and therefore both types of bees will be present. The one who shall win is the bee that stings first. Probs are the boy lah! Strong maaaah...

narfnarf:cik adik sayang oii. pi tanya kakailin. but it surely ain't no rocket science!

uja: YEEEEEHAAAAAAA time! *yes, siapa nak main gendang tadi??*

5:08 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

torts: prob the lack of jengjeng bcos of the bidding??

Why brownies? haiyo..look at the mama and papa brownie first lah. "brown" kan?

5:10 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

atenah: I think my friends yang ada anak perempuan will be quite suspicious when "orang yang JARANG masuk dapur" like me, suddenly shows interest in their kitchens, don't you think??

Now got to bring big handbag aound to selit senduks inside!

KakTeh: Yes Atenah, what do we do with the senduk?

Ely, The Queen: You my dear, are one of the lucky ones. Can just simply jengjeng. No need to worry!!

5:14 PM  
Blogger zaireen said...

wah...details theory.. I tried but not successfull still! Any hint?

6:24 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

dear mona,

there are the Whelan and Shettle methods. One says to jengjeng 2 to 4 days BEFORE the flower blooms and the other says 2 to 3 days. whelan is 56% effective for girls. shettle is 76%. Not bad ya?

to know exactly when the flower bloom, better use a thermometer and NOT senduk unless you are a mangkuk. hehe..

oh to increase the chances, both ma and pa must indulge in fish, vege and chocolates. salt and meat will give you telur penyu only. the fatter the ah ma, the better the chances.

and ah ma must finish the jengjeng race before ah pa.

6:56 PM  
Blogger torts said...

In Ops meeting today, tengok Nas nampak brownie.. heheheh!

On d way, insyallah.

6:59 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

zaireen: read on, I suppose our gal pals here will have lotsa tips for us!

oody: This is HARD! First, must steal senduk. Then must count days on calendar. In between must pig out on fish, vege and chocs and get fatter ALTHOUGH on diet. Then must take temperature, and then only jengjeng??

I think I'll just do a Mona and just simply jengjeng. Have it lucky draw style, see what comes out. aye?

Torts: Poor N. He doesn't know what he's up for! hhehehe!

8:50 PM  
Blogger mommy@lif said...

hi anedra, get this fr a friend. hope this helps :)

tip no 1:FOOD
* Alkalinity favours the conception of a baby BOY
* Acidity favours the conception of a baby GIRL

Based on those facts if you want a baby BOY, both parents should eat ALKALINE food & vice versa

Note: start diet at least 1 month prior to start trying to conceive

tip no. 2: PH of the woman tract
Besides foods, there's another way of getting it i.e by changing your (ladies)environment (your private part).
To get baby girl, use a douche of water and vinegar, and water and baking soda for baby boy immediately before intercourse.
Pls make sure you dilute the douches properly otherwise it won't help and might hurt. Also pls consult your gynae first. I am NO expert!!!

tip no. 3:ENVIRONMENT
Hubbies shld be in cooler place for baby boy and shld take hot bath if want to conceive baby girl. Caffeinated drinks also wld help in conceiving baby boy.

9:35 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

alif's mommy, am a tad worried abt tip number two - terlebih baking powder - kembang setaman!!
LOL - this is getting too hilarious! senduk, rgermometer, chocolate ..hehehe - just stick a picture of a baby girl up the ceiling - but then again - spoil the mood lah!

9:43 PM  
Blogger OOD said...

kak teh,
i remember atenah once mentioned something about a sendok-faced person. Maybe the mother was sendok thief?

If you have to steal at all, steal lah something good looking, ya?

10:08 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

alif's mommy: I agree with kakTeh on tip no 2. afterwards, when things get all "heated up" and "hot" down there, sure got reaction from baking powder.

kakteh: asal tak meletop sudah..

ood: eh..my senduk got flower ya know... but I also got senduk yang dah hitam..

eh, kaktenah! Macamana ni?? Curi nice senduk or ugly senduk?? kayu or plastic? we must be specific now, no room for mistakes here!

10:17 PM  
Blogger ailin...in aalborg said...

Cis! Mati-mati aku ingat brownies yang untuk makan. But on second thought, I said: Anedra? Brownies?

I heard that if you sleep mengiring ke kanan, increases your chances of getting a boy. And sleep mengiring ke kiri for a girl.

11:38 PM  
Blogger ailin...in aalborg said...

Yang budak terjelur lidah kat atas tu...still got a lot to learn. Theory is very different from practical. As my supervisor says, have to conceptualise. But making your brownies need experience, not conceptualisation or theorisation!

11:40 PM  
Blogger mommy@lif said...

he he i managed to deliver a boy *without help of baking powder though.. alah bukan nak letak byk.. setakat nak tukar pH je tu.. :P

anedra, got my mail?

12:05 AM  
Blogger AuntyN said...

Patut semua girls bronies sebab tak follow instruction, main redah je tak tengok kalender pun. Awat lambat sgt kenai dgn anedra ni, dah tutup kedai dah baru nak jumpa.

Sapa nak curi senduk dari rumah aunty? Nanti malam2 nak bukak tingkap dapur bagi renggang sikit tu.....

12:31 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

ailin: are u saying I can't make brownies?? I can! I swear I can! Instant from the box. Masuk telur and air and bake! Siap! hehehe *you know me so well lah*

alif's mommy: I hope it's sikit, or else, suffer! heheh! received yr mail. replied a while ago, didya get my mail?

auntyN: psssstt..nanti bagi address ok? and, tell me which drawer yr senduk is in!

12:40 AM  
Anonymous Rose said...

Darling how many times have you tried the different theories?

1:35 AM  
Anonymous Mrs Amd said...

Bagusnya entry ari ni . Last year ada dpt emel psl ni tp virus dtg menyerang so semua artikel yg disavekan dah hancus. Thanks anedra & aliff's mom , I akan praktikkan after 3 male brownies. Tapi sure ke jgn jeng-jeng langsung on the 13th to 17th days , boleh ke gamaknya ?

2:57 AM  
Blogger anedra said...

rose darling: haven't tried any of these yet! still at "research" stage! Am in search of a fool-proof method!

mrs amd: hari ke 13-17 BOLEH JENGJENG! Only that, mesti lah mengambil langkah-langkah "keselamatan" yang secukupnya agar takde "bee" yang terlepas dan menyunting si "flower". Ok puan?? Have fun and Happy jengjeng-ing!

3:04 AM  
Anonymous hartini said...

hahaha @ jengjengjeng=awesome jeng jeng

and everybody's tips are so funny - senduk, baking powder... susahnye!!! nak boys makan alkaline food for 1 month... aduh...!!

4:38 AM  
Blogger minah blur said...

damn funnylah this post :)

malam nih malam jumaat...bagus untuk jeng jeng jeng :)

if jadi, do let us know..i'm in the process of baking brownies too ! so let's hope all our efforts work !

5:28 AM  
Anonymous apples4me said...

Now this is good stuff! Thanks for sharing! I just have to find my bee and start jeng-jeng!

6:42 AM  
Blogger Maya said...

Hiya,

We had a terrific time at the Bk club meet, but sad to note I missed out on the baking-brownies fun :(

I am wondering after all of this tips and such, when you do finally jeng jeng or jengjeng...dont u think you could laugh your a* off? And then what will happen? Will this affect the jengjenging or its outcome? You gotta be careful that you delete these bytes off ur head when you get on the jengjeng table...this is serious advice ....becoz

Well, this was years ago when I was very much in the midst of some heavy jengjeng season..like the frogs and rabbits. And then something funny happened...and while jengjeng was in progress. - first one small giggle, then a bigger one, then two giggles and then two giggles and two bodies shaking in mirth...NOT jeng jeng...and then a few minutes, guffaws..oh mannnnn ...mission was promplty abandoned. Jengjeng and laughter don't mix.OK?

7:34 AM  
Blogger faux diamante said...

wah dena, topic kencang ni...here's a tip on preselecting/attempting for a boy the ancient chinese way.

http://www.yinyang.cc/boy_more.shtml

9:59 AM  
Anonymous atn said...

aiseh Kak Teh you are soooo advanced lah. I pun tak terpk nak buat apa lagi with the senduk, unless to senduk lauk lah. ish org2 lama ni tera & creativelah.

BTW, ananda check yr email, i've just send you some info...

yes AuntyN is the best candidate to curi senduk from (nanti ramai plak org pi serbu rumah AN) he he he

1:55 PM  
Blogger Rostam Effendi said...

Dear Anedra, I got two girls and two boys, selang seli la.... and I do not know how to write "jeng jeng" like you.

I tend to agree that the theory u r applying is on the right track, but u can add more chances, buy making sure the "jeng jeng" is done more often to get female brownies, without full penetration when man cumming, and the woman no need to cum.

Susah nya nak cite.... I hope I get thru to you or the rest that is trying. And do not forget to DOA!

7:14 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

hartini: bila mention alkaline je..all I can think of is batteries! yuck! memang resourceful kan kekawan kita kat sini?

minahblur: betool! malam jumaat dapat pahala lebih for jengjeng! good isn't it? being rewarded for something like that? Good luck to you too! Am sure yr brownies will turn out lovely~

apples: bila dah jumpa mr bee tu, don't forget to invite me for nasi minyak ok?? ;p

7:35 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

maya: I'll take it frm you, cos YOU'D know. Jengjeng and laughlaugh cannot mix!! Been there too..Mission aborted as well! Hehe!!

Hmmm, but if we HAVE to bring a senduk and baking powder, termometer and all into the bedroom, it'll be too hard to stop the giggles, doncha think? :)

nazrah: boys huh? errr...my senduks are in the second drawer by the stove. take all of em if you want! ;p

atn: itulah, nak senduk apa lah agaknya kan? btw, checked my mail already. thank you! :)

Rostam: Finally, a MAN speaks! Got you loud and clear!!

but sounds a bit susah ya? Involves a lot of control and technique by both. If terbabas, then susah lah!

Thanks for the tip!!

7:44 PM  
Blogger Kak Teh said...

Anedra said: Hmmm, but if we HAVE to bring a senduk and baking powder, termometer and all into the bedroom, it'll be too hard to stop the giggles, doncha think? :)

I suggest - clear the kitchen table! - make sure bekas 2 cili semua wiped clean - kalau tidak panas tak tentu hala!

8:31 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

kakteh: amboi amboi! batu lesong pun must make sure simpan! all esle resipi tak jadi!

9:30 PM  
Blogger noha chomel said...

hahahahah...tak larat nak gelak, dah wheeziing nih..semput!!

anyway, good luck kak!

11:03 PM  
Anonymous apples4me said...

Anedra..insyaallah...doakan lah yeee..by the way what about theory tak dapat anak langsung? Got a friend who's having that problem...but then again..the wife suffers fibrosis..

Mom suggested fish head curry. Told that to my former boss who was trying and she did so. In less than a year she got pregnant!:D

4:56 AM  
Blogger About Blogreader said...

Meanwhile... you know the real irony of this situation, right? That Anedra's going to bloody get another boy.

*Blogreader being cheeky :)*

5:52 PM  
Anonymous apples4me said...

*winks* @blogreader

9:04 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

noha chomel: bawak bersabar dik! thanks for the wish anyway! ;)

apples4me: that I don't know. In the end, it's all in God's hands isn't it?

Blogreader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

2:59 AM  
Blogger atiza said...

hahaha...jeng jeng jeng..jeng..jeng..
jeng..jengjengjeng..jeng?

10:58 PM  
Blogger anedra said...

atiza: ya lah. jengjengjeng..jengjengjeng..jengjeng..JENGJENG! ok?

2:33 AM  

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