5 Year Joy

The first time I experienced the pain, I did not know that it was THAT pain and that in a another 12 hours my life would change forever. And since the pains came every half an hour or so in the beginning and was quite mild, I thought nothing of it and went to the grocer’s behind the office to get some daun kesum and fish for N’s assam pedas dinner that night, and some bananas for me.

I finally got home after being stuck for hours in the Jalan Ampang jam and had a bit of rest. Again, the pain came..but made of steel (ahaks) as I am..it was still nothing. Strangely, the heavy load that I had been carrying with me for 9 months now seemed extra heavy that night. My body had changed so much that some people didn’t recognize me with the extra 20kgs that I had gained. I never knew my bum could expand THAT big, and for the upper body, oh my….I could’ve given Dolly PArton a run for her money! Fatigue took over me and I dozed off, only to be awaken by another sharp pain. It was then 9pm and I had not cooked yet. Aisay, forget the assam pedas lah!

It then dawned upon me, that it could be my labour pains although I was only due in another two weeks. I called mom to ask her whether I was experiencing labour pains just to be sure..and she said “Oh my gosh Anedra, I can’t remember how it feels! The last I had pains was 15 years ago!!” (right, thanks mom!) and she redirected me to my Mak Su who more or less had the same answer as mom and who then redirected me to the youngest aunt in our family, Kak Nisa who said, “Just go to the hospital now!”. (Dear God, thank you for all the wise aunties I have in my family..)

N was still in the office at the time and I had to interrupt him in the middle of an important meeting. I whispered, “Come home. It’s TIME”. He said, “Now?” I said “Now”. He said “Sekarang??” I said “YA!!” He then said again “Now?” I said “Nevermind!!!!!!” To which he finally said, “OK! I balik sekarang!” Reverse psychology works on men I guess..Well, at least it works on MY man.

A wise friend of mine once told me, one you get in (the hospital), say these magic words. SO when we FINALLY got to the hospital, I flashed my best smile to the nurse, batted my eyes a bit and said the magic words, “Epidural please?”. So much of strength and steel huh? I’m actually a sucker when it comes to pain! N who had no clue what epidural was dared not question me (and my glare) and just signed the consent forms.

I was then already having 10 minute apart contractions while waiting for the epidural sink..Once it was in my system, I was calm and managed some sleep. Mom and Dad came in a few times marveling at how relaxed I was! The wonders of epidural, I say!

The rest of the jin-bang (no adiejin here) were already gathered at the waiting lounge by 1 am. You see, in our family, so far, it is customary that whenever one gives birth, the whole kampong is around to give support!! So, Mom, Dad, MakSu, PakSu, PakAji, KakNisa and the rest were all there, patiently waiting for the arrival of the new family member in between rounds of the tarik and roti canai at Bangsar. (if I never thanked you..here it is THANKS!!!)

Just before Subuh I was awaken by the nurse who said, “It’s time” and continued on a very animated conversation with N on how N and I could use some method to get twins on our next try, while strapping my legs into position.. N who was then planning on having a family the size of a whole football team was excited already at the prospect of twins at our next try and repeatedly questioning the nurse "betul ke? betul ke?" (See, can never trust that man alone with nurses!)

The doctor came in a few minutes later with her yellow Pua Chu Kang boots, looking so relaxed, and said, “Ok Anedra, when I say push..you push SOOOO hard, like you’ve never pushed before!”.. Chief nurse said “Imagine a really bad case of constipation!” Yeah right….and push I did, while doctor, chief nurse and the other two nurses cheered me on like cheerleaders at a soccer game minus the short skirts and pompoms!

It wasn’t easy pushing when you are numb and can’t feel anything.. what more, with N hovering around trying to peek in between my legs just to be sure it's a baby coming out and a boy. But, after a few huffs and puffs and three pushes, he came out, slimy, a bit smelly, but nontheless the most beautiful thing we'd ever seen. The nurses said almost in unison "Eh, eh, botak..macam papa!!” , while N proudly beamed at his first son. N then kissed me and said, “Senangnya! No pain! Tahun depan we have one more ok?” I dismissed thoughts of punching him since such negative thoughts was already detected by the baby who was wailing his lungs away.

Nasar, a few hours old

Mom who was there too, was already oooh-aaah-ing away exclaiming how “intelligent” and “smart” her first grandchild is. And how he looks so very sharp, yada..yada..yada.. How she knew it was all that, I don’t know.. It was probably just a plain profound blind love for her first newborn grandson. It definitely was love at first sight for her, as it was for us.

One year old Nasar

That was 5 years ago. We named that slimey baby, Syed Nasar, and Nasar turns five today. Always the cute and charming and smart one in the eyes of his parents and gets away with murder with his grandparents. A loving, fine boy whom I can’t ever imagine life without, one, who changed our lives and filled it with so much happiness, with his entrance into this world.

Nasar, today, at 5 years old.

And my oh my, what an achievement for me! 5 years ago, I could never have imagined surviving diaper changes, breastfeeding and what not. And now, after surviving a 5 year old Nasar and his three year old partner in crime, Nasri, I'd do it all over again! (But please God, gimme a girl the next time?)

Just like Nazrah said, “Hidup jugak anak engkau jaga ek?”

Haha..Tell me about it!

Me and my 5 year old baby puffing his cheeks

ps: Happy Birthday too, to the owner of my favourite kedai kopi, Ely!! Ely, on your birthday, I made your Shephards Pie! It looks promising, but donno how it tastes lah, with my cooking skills, you knowlah how! BUT I will eat and celebrate on your behalf tonite!!

Ely's Shephard's Pie. YUMMMMY!

Just a Load of Blahs

It’s been too long since the last update. I guess I made another trip the the land of Flat-Toners where I have nothing to say and experienced a complete “system shutdown” in so far as my blogging is concerned!

Oh, speaking about being a Flat-Toner, I have to inform, especially to those who know me but have not seen the real Flat-Toner in me, that I spoke to a friend (a blogger) a few weeks back. There I was trying my best to keep the Flat-Toner me at bay, when barely 10 minutes into the conversation she stopped me mid-sentence and said, “Anedra, you ARE a flat-toner!!!” Aiseh…so much for trying aye?? Honestly, I thought I was on top form, meaning not flat-toned, trying to vary my tones and all…and I was beginning to think I was doing it well, but alas, she saw right through me! Nasib baik she’s one blogger that I sayang and all..kalau tak..!!

SO, what have I been up to this week?? A lot. Work wise that is. It’s really funny how work tends to pile up at year end, when things should be slowing down and we should be wrapping up our year’s worth of work. Instead, for the past few days where I claimed to be spaced out in the Land of Flat Toners, I have found myself in one too many negotiation meetings and swamped with preparing what seemed like a never ending pile of proposals. I wish I could tell our clients to give us a break, and also send the same message to our management. After all, the last time I checked, we’re not machines plus Raya is just around the corner!

Oh, oh…and just to share this is what was said in the meetings with our Clients yesterday.

Us : You guys asyik nak potong aja. (In relation to cutting our proposed price for a job)
Client : Of courselah, nak kawin kenalah sunat dulu. Kan??

I’ll remember to use this line someday with our contractors!

Anyway, I have also decided to finally send some of the guys from my department off to highseas. They were supposed to go earlier, but couldn't. They will be leaving soon, one at a time, and again I’ll be handicapped at the office. Bodoh ke tak? But anyways, it’s an exposure they need. Had things been different, I would have gone too. It’s been a long time since I went and there is still so much to learn.

that's me on one of the first trips in my orange Ultraman suit!

I remember the first time that I went. Mom was not too happy about it, what with knowing that I’d be the only female in a vessel of 265 other men in the middle of the South China Sea. But she really did not have much say in the matter, as I had made up my mind, and of course, it was work anyway. The trip, at that time, was an 8 hour bumpy speed boat ride to our site. Some of the guys with me spent half their time by the side of the boat puking their guts away. Minah sorang ni (ehem..that’s me) maintain je. Made of steel (ok lah let me masuk bakul and angkat sendiri on this one ok?)..must have been the nasi kawah at Tun Fatimah that made me like that.

In what we do, we often don’t see the hardship the crew go through just to get the work done. All we do in the office is complain, that our guys don’t know how to work efficiently, this lah that lah. Once you are with them you know, that the guys work their *sses off day and night, sweating and toiling just to get their day's worth of wages. And it cannot be easy being away from their families 60-90 days continuously, stuck in a vessel in the middle of nowhere with some other men they probably don’t even like, without much entertainment apart from the VCDs we send them monthly (don't ask what sort of movies ok!). And for this month, Ramadhan, things can’t get any easier for them.

That’s what I wanted the guys to see, apart from getting to know the technical part of the work. I want them to not take things for granted, and see the real people behind the work, the ones that make things happen. Not just see the fancy high and mighty, "I am God", hoity toity head office banter, where people criticize sometimes beyond reasonableness.

Actually, I also sent them just to torture them a bit!!! . One is possibly going over Raya! Haha!! No lah, there’s a better and less cruel reason for this. But he took it well, still very gung-ho. He’s new you see.

So, that’s that, and there you have my so not happening week.

Oh, I also flipped some old albums just now and looked at my honeymoon pictures. My heart skipped a zillion beats and I almost went into cardiac arrest. I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! But this, I shall blog about later. In the meantime, to nurse my depression, I’ll need a dose of Zanax!

Stay sane everyone!

Mimpi and A Blogger

Di sebabkan boss saya seringkali keluar masuk bilik saya setiap sepuluh minit sejak dari pagi tadi, maka susah sedikitlah saya nak berbelog. Jadi, saya ingat mungkin ok kalau berbelog dalam Bahasa Melayu, sebab Boss adalah seorang Singaporean dan tak fasih berbahasa Melayu. Jadi, mungkin selamat! Sebenarnya, bukannya ada apa yang nak dibelogkan pun sangat, tapi niat memang nak belog, jadi belog jugaklah. Kalau tidak, mungkin sampai tahun depan tak ada update!! Dan juga, kalau tak belog, kepala terasa berat, dan hati tak senang. Tambah-tambah lagi, semalam sampai termimpi-mimpi a few titles yang hendak dibelogkan. Serious.

Satu daripadanya, ialah belog mengenai “fairytale” yang tak come true. Rasa-rasanya, saya termimpi pasal fairytale, sebab terbaca article yang ditulis oleh Kalimullah Hassan (kalau tak salah) di akhbar New Straits Time semalam, yang mengaitkan fairytales dan fables dengan seorang menteri kita yang sedang dilanda “limelight” disebabkan issue AP iaitu Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz. Mungkin saya keliru dengan “analogy” yang digunakan and compared with Rafidah Aziz..so itu yang terbawa-bawa ke mimpi tu. Mimpi itu mengenai cerita fairytale yang endingnya semuanya tipu belaka. There was no happy ending, there was no moral to the story, so it was like finding out that there’s no Santa Claus for kids in the west.. So, what’s the point?? Dan dalam mimpi itu, of course, saya sungguh marah dan frust kerana mendapati bahawa fairytale itu semuanya fiction belaka dan tiada unsur “reality” atau kebenaran langsung.. Saya memberitahu seorang lelaki (tak ingat siapa) bahawa “I shall get right to the roots of this!”. And I remember very clearly saying to myself in the dream – I MUST BLOG ABOUT THIS! Malangnya, saya tak ingat specifically fairytale apa yang saya mimpikan itu! (anti-climax or not??)

Semalam juga, sebab asyik terjaga beberapa kali di tengah malam, (I am quite a light sleeper. Ely, I had to stop myself from going to the coffee shop to hound you! ) saya telah bermimpi beberapa kali seperti episod drama bersiri. The only difference is, storyline mimpi-mimpi itu, taida kaitan with each other sama sekali.

Saya telah bermimpi (mungkin between 3am to 4.30am) mengenai nyamuk aedes yang gigantic, sebesar kucing. Saya memang phobia nyamuk dan gelikan kucing. Perangai ini saya rasa, saya dapat dari bapa saya yang memang tak tahan dengan nyamuk dan bunyinya yang sungguh merimaskan! Ibu saya juga seorang penggeli kucing dan haiwan-haiwan yang berbulu. Phobia nyamuk ini bertambah teruk , lebih lagi apabila membaca di akhbar harian mengenai wabak denggi yang kini mendekati tahap “epidemik”. Apatah lagi apabila saiznya (seperti dalam mimpi saya) sebesar kucing! Di dalam mimpi itu saya telah mengarahkan bibik supaya memasang ubat nyamuk disetiap bilik dirumah saya,sepanjang hari. Cuma ubat nyamuk itu sebesar aircond and it sucks the nyamuk into the unit, thus killing the S.O.Bs!! Yeeeehaaa!

I woke up after that dream feeling hot! Rupa-rupanya N switched off the aircond! And before I dozed off again, I thought, “I MUST BLOG ABOUT THIS!” Sempat lagi tu.

Mimpi ketiga mengenai kawan saya yang telah memberi sebuah ucapan di Zoo. Ceritanya begini, malam semalam semasa saya sedang menidurkan anak-anak, saya menerima sms dari seorang kawan yang dikenali melalui rakan-rakan belog yang memberitahu yang dia telah menghadiri satu “event” di Zoo Negara di mana beliau memberi satu ucapan. Di majlis tersebut, beliau diberi peluang untuk memegang tangan seekor Orangutan yang mungkin seronok yang amat sangat sehingga terkencing (the Orangutan not my friend) di khalayak orang ramai semasa memegang tangannya! Saya bermimpi bahawa saya berada di situ bersorak dan bersiul (“bersiul” like”pheeeeewittt!”) while my friend bagi ucapan (so proud like that!), and that all the Orangutans were jumping in their cages, while peeing in their pants! Heeeehaaaa!

It is now lunch time and boss has long since gone home. Why I continued to belog in my so teruk-embarassing written Malay pun I don’t know. Probably just to remind myself that I need to do some serious polishing on my written bahasa ibunda! (And I wonder, how the h*ll I scored an A1 for BM during my SPM??) But I guess, if you understand what I’m trying to say, then..oklah kan?

Anyways, seriously, I dreamt ALL that in just one night, and each time if it was not related to a blogger, I thought and dreamt that I’ll blog about it! This is chronic.. it’s either time I stop reading the newspapers and/OR wash my feet properly before bed dan baca bismillah banyak-banyak and/OR time I follow Atenah’s footsteps and wean myself from blogging, bloghopping and all such activities related to it! (although, I could never not visit Ely’s Kedai Kopi!) It’s addictive I tell ya!

BUT, you know what? If only we could control what we dream of…you know what I would want to dream about next?? “Makcik Bloggers the Movie! - WE WILL WE WILL BLOG YOU!” I say, the supporting roles (the “future” makcik bloggers, all imported you! Nazrah-Angelina Jolie/Oprah Winfrey (Oprah?? Nazrah, as I said, this one NO CAN DO!), Blabs – Jodie Foster, Me – Era Fazira (the only local supporting actress. I don’t know why, but I insist! She sells, no?)..and the rest still casting.. Oh yes, perasan tak sedar diri tahap yang tak boleh diselamatkan!!)

So till then my friends, have a good week! Embrace Ramadhan with open and happy hearts, and last of all, you can bet, I’ll be dreaming of you!! (Somebody HEEeeeLLLLLPPPpppPP me!!)