Perfection in the Skies

I love airplane rides. There’s just something special about being high up in the skies amongst the clouds. Especially early in the morning when the sky is a gorgeous calm blue, the sun is a warm, glowing, almost sleepy, red, and the clouds fresh, white and inviting. As though enticing one to take a stroll and perhaps have a little dance amongst them.

Yesterday, as is my almost monthly routine, I found myself comfortably seated in a plane, en route to Brunei, marveling at the beauty and perfection of the morning sky. The serene view as always, took my breath away. On and off, my thoughts drifted off to my two little sunshines, Nasar and Nasri, and how I hate being away from them, even if it's just for a day; already planning to call them as soon as I touch down. I wondered how N does it, going away all the time on work, leaving the kids behind and somehow seem unaffected by it. Men are like that huh? Unfeeling creatures! Hehehe..

That morning somehow, the skies reminded me of how perfect my life had been, just as perfect as the morning skies. I grew up with love and support all around me. I never had problems with my studies, nor my career. I found a man that loves me, who provides me with enough comfort that I need not worry about anything and can even afford a few tiny luxuries in life every now and then. And to top it all off, I have been blessed with my sons. The two boys who own my heart and soul.

My sunshine Nasri

Life was perfect, almost. For, suddenly, in this journey of near perfection, I experienced a glitch, with Nasri. Perhaps not a great big one (and some may be wondering why I whine), but one important enough for me to know that my life is no longer as perfect as it “should” have been, and worst of all, that his life may not be like other kids. We find ourselves every other day in hospitals, meeting therapists, working out programmes just to achieve some form of speech from him. I now find myself making future “back-up” plans just in case things don’t work out with him. Assessing what would be best for him and as for me, personally, seriously thinking of doing things that would drastically affect my life in terms of my career, dreams and such. Emotionally, although I hate to admit it (I always have to be the strong one), this has affected me much. How could it not, when as a mother, I always pray and dream for the best for my children? Especially, when at times, I feel like we are not progressing and so, so helpless to help my own son, one I love with all my being and one that I am responsible for bringing into this world? And I have often, in these past few months questioned myself, why is God challenging me with Nasri? What is God trying to tell me?

I found the answer in the perfection of the skies. Because my life was perfect. As absurd as it may sound, I believe it makes sense really. Had my life been perfect, I may have forgotten HIM. Had my life been so perfect, I may have gone astray and forgotten the greatness of HIM. Had my life been perfect, my feet would not be planted firmly on the ground as it is now and I wouldn’t have seen how tiny I am in HIS world. Nor would I have seen how powerless I am in HIS universe. I would have been in a blissful state of ignorance in HIS world, had life been perfect.

And so, I found my answer, so crystal clear, yesterday in the skies. God sent me a beautiful little messenger, a subtle signal from HIM, in my Nasri. A signal, that HE is the Almighty and only HE knows whats best for me. Something I always knew, and have always told myself…but was also kept at the back of my mind, just like something you take for granted.

For the first time yesterday, an overwhelming surge of mixed emotions enveloped me. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time..But for most of all I wanted to cry my heart out. (I would have if it weren’t for that guy sitting next to me, and it just wouldn’t do attending meetings with red swollen eyes, would it?). Jokes aside, for the first time, yesterday, things REALLY made sense and now I feel serenely calm in a strange, strange way. I can’t tell you how great it feels, to finally figure out the best part of this “discovery” of mine…which is..

That Nasri is proof of how GREAT HIS love is for me.

And that’s just perfect, really, isn’t it?

Break Time!

..Till I have something to say. Am in extreme flat-toned mode at the moment. No information, no opinion, nothing to say. Well, at least not here, for now.

In the meantime, until I decide to come out from the land of Flat-Toners, wherever that is, I shall be visiting YOU, YOU and YOU. Yes, that's YOU! And when I'm not wherever you are, you should find me sipping coffee at my favourite coffee joint, high on conversation, in love with the company..

So, till then, see you when I see you!

My Mee Bandung Surprise

LAST WEEKEND, family matters in the form of a really meriah engagement kenduri beckoned my family and I back to N's hometown, Muar. Or, as the Muarians say it, Muor.

We arrived late Friday night. After settling the kids and putting them to sleep, we went out in search of our first bowls of mee bandung. Memang since we first got married, it's compulsory, must eat mee bandung upon arrival in Muor. The one we got that night was delicious, mouth watering but not exactly what I had been craving for eversince we planned the trip, ie mee bandung at Kadir's. But alas, Kadir is not open at night, so I had to settle for my not-so-Kadir's mee bandung Muor. The next morning, we were woken up by our kids, all fresh and screaming murder for breakfast. So up we got, and after a quick trip to the bathroom, we were out in the car around 7-ish in search of breakfast, Muorian style.

I knew where N was heading. It was a little stall near the TNB office, one that he used to frequent since his childhood days. There, we ordered two bowls of lontong, one bowl of mee rebus, a set of beef and chicken satay and a set of awesome blossom roti bakar. For drinks, three cups of steaming hot extra kow coffee and milo for the boys. And it is perhaps only in Muor where you will find satay stalls all lively and bustling with activity at such hours of the day!

Setelah kenyang, seperti biasa, the boys asked to pay a visit to their friends at Tanjong. As though tak puas pergi Zoo Negara every other weekend, when in Muor, they have to visit the monkeys at the Tanjong nearby. Nasar was so amused by how territorial the monkeys were, when one monkey with a bright red coloured bum chased off a group of others and only let a selected few share the peanuts we were offering. Nasri, my braver one, was busy trying to step on their long pink tails.

After that, we drove around town admiring the old architecture. N as always will cerita (some stories, we have heard a zillion times over..yawn!) about what he used to do when he was a child, as we passed old buildings he used to frequent. One of them was the Muar Swimming Pool, which once had an Olympic sized pool and which has now gone into a miserable state of disrepair. N was so disappointed. He must’ve spent quite a lot of time there I suppose. It is a shame actually that they have not maintained it.

After a long drive around town, and a stop over to check on the “situation” at my brother in law's house where the kenduri was to be held, I asked N to take me to Kadir’s shop on Jalan Abdullah for THE Mee Bandung Muor. *as in this is the real deal* (Mental note: I have to remember to ask N why he calls it Kadir when the signboard clearly says Abu Bakar bin SomethingSomething and Sabarina Abu Bakar.) N gave me this look which read “tak kenyang-kenyang lagi?” but obliged in the end. Eleh, sebenarnya, dia pun nak! Finally!! Yes! Again we downed two full bowls of mee bandung. Later, N asked me whether we should bungkus some satay to bring over to bro-in-law’s house later. We decided that we should, and placed the order of 200 sticks with the Satay Man whose name is Satria and told him we’d come by later to pick up the “goods”.

Sebab niat baik agaknya nak belanja orang satay, I had a nice surprise awaiting me at Kadir’s when we returned later after we went back to get dressed for the kenduri. (sidetrack: I discovered then that I did not bring my sandals and had to settle wearing my kebaya with loafers!) There was no parking, so we double parked. N told me to stay in the car just in case we were told to move, so I did.

I heard Bibik saying something in the background about some “perempuan dok bye-bye bye-bye”. I looked out and saw her. NAZRAH!!! There was no doubt about it, and tanpa segan silu and without checking first, whether it was really her, I got out and she came towards me and we exchanged excited hugs. All I could think of was “she’s soooooo puteh!” and how regretfully late I was for the kenduri! What timing!! I babbled some stuff very quickly to her cos by then N was already back in the car, and asked her where her Aishah was. She pointed to a lil kecik adorable girl wearing a white hat sitting quietly with her Dad, CA, in the mee bandung shop. (Nyesal pulak tak panggil Nasar turun to introduce him to Aishah. Manalah tahu kan?)

It was surreal! It’s quite like meeting celebrities from movies, to see Nazrah, CA and Aishah in person after seeing their pictures at her blog all this time. Only that, unlike when meeting celebrities, there is this big gap of unfamiliarity, meeting her, was like meeting family, even though it was for a mere fleeting 2 minutes or so. The best part is, I remember asking her what she was doing in Muor. She gave me her familiar wide grin which makes you wanna smile too, and said, “Makan Mee Bandung lah!” and all the way from Singapore at that!! She really knows her food this one!! I tabik you lah!! You’re the Queen of Makan!!

Needless to say, from the heartfelt embraces we shared, N was pretty much amazed and amused by it all. He kept saying that he was so impressed that Nazrah was so sharp to have recognised me from inside the shop! I smsed KakTeh and OOD a few minutes later to share the news. I then called my mom to tell her about it too. Before I could say anything, she said, “Oooooh, I know!”. Apparently, our ever so efficient better-than-CNN-like reporter from London aka KakTeh had alerted the rest of our clan in Malaysia about my brief encounter with Nazrah. It had already made local news apparently. My dad, asked me whether I took photos, I meekly told him “no” to which he sort of frowned disapprovingly. Ya lah…Why? Why? Why??????

In the end, I was not late! (BIG BIG minus points for my niece’s future hubby!) I could’ve spent more time with Nazrah if I knew! Nevertheless, it really made my weekend! To finally have met in person, someone whom I have chatted with at Ely’s Kedai Kopi, whom I’ve smsed and talked with a few times over the phone and above all, whose blog I read almost religiously so much so, that I feel like I know so much about her and even what she eats daily, cannot really be described in words; by a flat-toner especially. And as a plus point, all this talk of makan or not makan, was not wasted. It has brought us together, in blogworld, at Ely's Kedai Kopi and even at Kadir’s in Muor. Nazrah, says our lil meet was priceless, I couldn't agree with her more!

ps. pls visit nazrah's for a more graphic view of the mee bandung mentioned, the tauke-tauke kedai responsible for the mee bandung and for an enlightening write up on the beautiful Bandar Maharani @ Muor. Oh, and those who visit Muor, please also go try the fresh ice-cold air pear, which is sold somewhere in the "china town" of Muor by the roadside!

pps. just imagine, if it was not her, after all the hugging and whatnots! tak ke malu! hehehe!

The ABC's of Baking Female Brownies. An Idiot's Guide

As some of you know, I am on the quest of digging info in ensuring that the next batch of "brownies" I bake will turn out GIRLS. So, in this quest, I have turned to some experienced, and successful friends, and I have also received help from other non-experienced ones ie. Hartini in form of charts etc. (thank you, dear)

Well, this is one that I received from a dear, dear old friend of mine recently. He himself has succeeded in producing 1 male and 2 female brownies. So I thought, he'd be a good source of reference.

*Some terminology has been changed to maintain this blog as a non 18SX site. Please figure for yourself what "flower", "bees" and "jengjeng" stand for. If you can't figure it out, you are either:

1. Underaged (if yes, please go surf another site)

2. Blur (or an idiot, and so I can't help you)*

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This is a step by step process. If you skip a process, it WILL NOT WORK!

Step 1 . Require one man - ready, alert and functional
Step 2 . Require one woman - just a live one will do
Step 3 . Require one suitable environment - a dimly lit room, locked and out of reach of
children will suffice.

Step 4 . You know what comes next. NO! Not THAT. You see, you're always jumping the gun
That's why la so hard to get one..... The next step is to look at the calendar!

YES! The calendar.

The "flower" blooms on the 14th day, calculated from the first "Red Flag" day. Conception happens only after the "flower" blooms.(I'm pretty sure you know that bit). What you might not know is that the "flower" has about 4 days tops to be 'stung' by the right "bee". And that the boy "bees" are the stronger swimmer (err flyers?) but the girl "bees" have a longer life.

So here's the trick...

If both boy "bees" and girl "bees" are present when the flower is ready, chances are, the boy bees are gonna be victorious. But if you eliminate the threats from the boy "bees", then, there's a pretty strong chance that if a "bee" manages to go thru, it's a girl "bee"!!!

So...how do you do that? The boy "bees" last just 24hrs but the girl "bees" last up to 48 hrs. So to make sure that it's gonna be a girl, make sure that you behave and do not "jeng jeng" from the 13th to the 17th day. "Jengjeng" at full throttle on the 12th day though. *which means jengjeng a lot, ok* We don't want to be unsuccessful on account of insufficient troops, do we? B'coz when the "flower" blooms and the "bees" are almost at the end of their life, they might not be strong enuff to "sting" the "flower". So, the more "bees", the merrier!

So there you have it. Apa lagi, start counting! And, ehem...have fun!

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So, to those who wanna try this, go ahead, and tell me if it works (by the way, this one, no money-back guarantee!).

To the rest, any other proven successful method?

Because of The Blogreader

...I have now been tagged for 20 years of history and 10 years of forecast! Alamak! Can this brain of mine really hold that much information? Lemme see what I can korek for you then! (by the way your name is waaay cool..can I name my daughter after you?)

20 years ago. 1985. 10 years old. Probably 20++ kgs
1. Standard Four. Class teacher, Mrs Rai. Favourite subject – English and Sejarah. High on collecting Hello Kitty stickers and stuff. Was also in school choir.
2. Best friends at that time were Teoh Su Chin and Lim Geok Shin.
3. Favourite singer Michael Jackson
4. Growing strange bumps on upper region of body. Mighty painful I tell ya.
5. Made a trip to Sabah to visit cousins Ju and Hira for year end school holidays. Had fun imagining/playing we were Ninjas. Also had rooftop taekwondo lessons from Uncle Amin and I broke his glasses trying out a flying kick on one session. We weren’t very girlish, no.
6. At Sabah: went to a welding workshop and got the guys there to make us Ninja Stars to throw at boards erected in the house compound, errr… and at stray dogs.
7. Got busted (with Ju and Hira) reading “Mona Gersang” at Wan’s house in Kuala Pilah. (You see Wan, the REAL question is,”WHOSE BOOK WAS THAT?”) And the next question is WHAT WAS THE ENDING LIKE?? WHAT HAPPENED TO MONA?" Does anyone out there know?

10 years ago. 1995. 20 years old. 40++ kgs at beginning of year.
1. Essex Girl at Essex University

2. Started second year in autumn 1995 majoring in Accounting and Financial Management
3. One boyfriend. Very serious. Very in love. Very roller-coaster like affair. Very pening but very happy to be in love.

4. One on-off crush despite very serious boyfriend as per no.3 above (it’s allowed, no?). That went no where. Sighhhh. My heart still flutters when I see his photos. Help me God!
5. Deejaying on Essex Uni Radio Station with a show called the Midnight Blues aired every Wednesday and Sunday nights. No one listened to it cos it was at midnight when everyone else was dancing at the dancehalls!
6. Also a Nightliner (where you sit long nights in a room with tea listening to people/strangers pour out problems or discuss Startrek.)
7. Quit Nightline. Was becoming a cuckoo myself.
8. Made fast, firm lifetime friends with AJ, Karen, Asad, Rose, Nathalie and gang
9. Danced. A LOT.
10. Aerobics queen of Essex University
11. Worked as receptionist during summer holidays, where I graciously and gracefully proposed to a stranger on the other line (hello?????) Go here for the full story.

12. Fell into garbage bin in Square 1 of University witnessed by the whole of the Malaysian Community on campus. (I made history..I was more amused by the fact that I actually fit into the bin!!)

5 years ago. 2000. 25 years old. Above 45 kgs
1. Got married on 29 January to a bald man that I’ve only known for 6 months or so.
2. Went to visit the Pyramids and The River Nile on a cold and romantic honeymoon in Egypt
3. Conceived sometime then.
4. Pregnant for a major chunk of the year
5. Learnt how to cook asam pedas and make sambal belacan and clean fish!
6. Gave birth to a very handsome, bald baby by the name of Syed Nasar.
7. Promoted. Alhamdulillah. I needed the extra cash!

3 years ago. 2002. 27 years old. Above 50kgs.
1. Gave birth to my second very handsome baby boy. This one had hair. We named him Syed Nasri.
2. Busy at work. Travelling too much.
3. Another promotion. Alhamdulillah, but which also meant MORE work!!
4. Building a new house, near the zoo
5. Already a super cook. No one has died yet!

I year ago. 2004. 29 years old. Still above 50kgs.
1. Discovered that 2nd baby needs help and that I need to be very, very strong
2. Whirlwind family holiday in Rome and Venice. Supposedly, our 2nd honeymoon..but with 2 kids in tow..all the romance tak jadi!
3. Dad finally FINALLY retired and is now at home harassing mom! (hahaha!)

This year. 2005. 30 years old. Dare I say it?? Above 55kgs!! YIKES!
1. Enjoying my two sons to the max
2. Working on becoming a better Muslim
3. Considering heating up the oven and getting some bun baking action. BUT must lose weight first and must make sure the bun will turn out FEMALE. How??
4. Considering a career change, I am becoming a permanent fixture in this current outfit..I’ll soon become antique!
5. Considering no career at all. But I probably won’t survive that
6. Am perpetually on diet. Ohhhh..when will this end????
7. Discovered Blogspot and made so many lovely friends. Yes, that’s YOU.
8. Discovered Blogspot and my phonebills are running sky high.

9. Discovered Blogspot and my husband thinks I have a secret life! haha!
10.Wrote a song for the first time. Still can’t believe it. Thanks Intan!
11. Am a very happy woman

Next year. 31 years old. 50kgs
1. Please note, I would have lost weight
2. Will have become a better Muslim, mother, wife, daughter, sister etc..etc
3. Will have a daughter by year end
4. Will have survived all the bad 2005 prophecies. Tell me it ain’t true!
5. Would have enough money to not work in this office and to be able to start up something on my own and work from home!
6. Will still be a very happy woman

10 years from now. Year 2015. 40 years old. Less than 50kgs
1. Would want to be a counselor or a trainer. In what? I haven’t figured yet. Will decide in 2 years time.
2. Sons would be 15yrs and 13yrs each. Probably going through an identity crisis and discovering girls! (This’ll be fun!)
3. Hubby will be 50 years old. Hopefully, retired already, not a grouch and farts less.
4. Will have 4 kids in total. 2 boys and 2 girls or 3 boys and 1 girl or 4 boys (eeeks!)
5. Would have survived mid-life crisis
6. Will be time to start giving back to society. Don’t ask me how. I just will..somehow.

Most of all, I want to be alive and healthy and be able to enjoy the full circle of life, grandkids, leaking bladders (not) and all!

Next! OODY, Atenah, Pak Ajie Kapai and ,Kak Cik (so you must update your blog!), you’ve been tagged!!

Oh, and Blogreader, thanks! This was fun!